Leaves, comes back, leaves half...

[euhm]

I rewrote my last topic, cz something went wrong with my mobile phone.


Hi my bf met a woman ( not the first time). We had a fight ( when i didnt know for sure he had her in his life) and eventually he left me and my daughter ( raised her with me) I never contacted him myself while he was away. He sended me messages or called me everyday and still acted jalous.

last week we were chatting and one thing let to ... .

He came over and we had fun. He left saying he never stopped thinking about us. I said we would see how it goes ( he had that woman). Next day în the evening he sended me he felt terrible and wanted to be with us. I avain said we will see. Next morning he stands next ro my bed. Asking to come back. I took him in. He said to the daughter he would never leave again and cried. We went out and had a great time

He told me if he would stay with her it would go wrong cz they used a lot of drugs and alcohol ( not normal like this for him)

She tried to kill herself I think with pills and alcohol after he left her. He found her awake, took rest of his stuff and came to me (doesnt sound like love either).

He also said she is extremely jalous ( he cant stand this) and that she isnt very smart.

After this she kept on texting him and a few days later trouble arrives again. Now he has doubts about who he wants to stay with. He knows her for not a whole two months ( and her kids) and acts like its the same as me and our daughter... .

Now he is there, didnt take a lot of clothes with him and on thursday he sended i was always on his mind.

I know this woman wanted to help him to get some of his problems sorted out ( lawyer things)... .

I talked to some people, one had BPD herself and another one has also a partner who acts like this... .But I wanted to hear other thoughts about this too.

To keep things clear... I KNOW this is wrong, but i'm not done fighting yet

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

To keep things clear... I KNOW this is wrong, but i'm not done fighting yet

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but what exactly are you fighting for?  Is your child his too?  I know you said that he raised her with you, but I just wasn't sure if he is the biological father.

I hope you can find comfort and wisdom from the lessons and information here on this site.  It sounds as though you may need to set some clear boundaries with this man. 

[ptilda]

The thing I hate hearing? Only you know when  YOU are ready to stop fighting.

In the meantime, step back and REALLY work on setting boundaries. You can't allow yourself or your daughter to get tossed around. And realize these tools do work! It takes patience and you're not going to "fix" him, but YOU can live better and that can influence his choices.

[euhm]

He is not the biological father.

Yeah I will try not to contact him anymore myself, but he contacts me most of the time.

Its a very hard situation and it drives me mad at moments, but I still feel the drive to fight and if I feel that than I cant stop I think.