Urgent: BPD Wife Angry/Jealous of Facebook Post w/ School Friends and Ex-GF

[flourdust]

flourdust, It's hard to know if it's unusual, because I'm not aware of good statistics on the proportion of BPD spouses that have jealousy problems. From where I sit with a very jealous dBPDw, you are lucky to not have to deal with that aspect of BPD.

Fair enough! I guess we can all find aspects of each other's stories that we can be grateful we are spared from. Good luck to you.

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[Inquisitive1]

True. And good luck to you.

[Fian]

I would also like to comment on BPD shutting down your social side.  I don't know if my wife has BPD or not, but she has shut off all social avenues outside of her direct family.  Since I work from home, the only person I interact with is my wife.  I am an introvert, so it isn't that bad, but on the other hand, I have been dealing with depression, and my therapist pointed out that lack of social contact, especially for men, is a major source of depresssion.  Adding BPD to the picture, if the only person you interact with has BPD, then it can result in a very skewed view of the world.  It makes it more difficult to determine if your spouse's actions are normal or not.

[Inquisitive1]

I hear you Fian, I strongly encourage you to find some semi-regular social situation just for you. I have a couple of buddies I go hiking with several times a month. Nice to have a least that. Sometimes my wife gets mad about it, but I stick with it and she mostly accepts it. Nice to have at least that much.

You might also try to find some sort of professional contacts to meet with on a weekly basis. Maybe just for lunch.

Having at least some contacts is really helpful.

When talking to my friends about her, I sometimes say she struggles with severe depression, which is true. I think depression is more generally understood and accepted than BPD. I'm afraid to talk to my family about her, because they're all so negative about her, I don't want to add to that fire. Really, this community is the only place I can be totally open.

I keep thinking of trying some National Alliance on Mental Illness support groups, which i've heard are available around the USA. I've heard they have ones for family members. I've heard the groups are variable, some good, some meh. Hard to fit into my busy schedule but you may want to check that out.