Just got the heart breaking news...

[Jspikes86]

So after for 4 months of marriage... .My wife tells me she doesn't love me anymore. I was so shocked and confused and didn't know what to do. I did ml know that she was diagnosed with BPD but I didn't really think to see what it was all about. We have been together going on 4 years and a wonderful 2 year old son. Things were great until we got married. I thought she was just battling some depression, atleast that's what she told me and the doc. And then bam overnight it was done. She didn't have a reason so after nights of not sleeping I finally found out what BPD is. We both care for each other and she says she still loves me but is not in love. But we had a serious talk and she has agree to go to see a therapist with me and try and save our marriage. Please keep me in your thoughts, and if you have any tips or advice about what's coming next please let me know.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[LilMe]

Have you had a chance to check out the "Lessons" on the right of this page?  They really help a lot!  It is very good that she has had a diagnosis and is willing to work on your marriage.

There is a lot of push/pull and black/white towards the partner of a pwBPD.  My guess is that she will soon be back to loving you.  But it sure feels permanent and is extremely painful when the push/black is happening!

Hugs to you and your family!

[formflier]

 



Hugs for you

 


My advice is that you keep coming back here... .and keep this site to yourself (don't let wife know).

We need to get you smart on BPD... .quick.

It hurts to hear what she said... .very important to realize that is how she felt "in the moment"... .very likely she will feel different soon.

You can do this... .I did "this"... .many others have successfully worked through issues like this.

Looking forward to your next post.

FF

[Ceruleanblue]

Yes, just because she said this doesn't mean she'll continue to feel that way. She might, or she might not. One of the traits of BPD is the fluctuating, strong emotions.

I used to get so scared when BPDh would threaten divorce, or say things like that. I knew he meant it when he said it, but I've come to see that he might feel that way for a day, or a couple months, but so far, he comes back wanting us to work out. I know one day he might just pull the plug for real, but I can't live in dread anymore. By being scared, I was feeding right into it.

The tools on the right can be of great help. Welcome to the site, and know you are not alone.