my borderline personality partner

[mrtiptop]

hi all,

      I have been friends with my partner for 17 years although we have not always been in contact throughout that period of time. several years ago she became involved with a good friend of mine and eventually got married to him. they have 2 beautiful daughters. she became ill  about 7 years ago and started to drink heavily and take cocaine. she has also attempted suicide on numerous occasions and has self harmed to a great extent. we recently got in touch with each other and I started to visit her in a secure unit of a local psyiatric hospital. at first I use to visit her once a week, after one visit I was at home , when I received a message from her stating that she was in love with me. since that time our relationship has become public and I am totally in love with her. recently she has become very cold towards me and I have only seen her once in the last week, I have been reading up on her condition and would like some opinions as to how to handle the present situation

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[shatra]

Have you read the lessons on this board---they really help explain BPD in more detail.  How did you get in touch recently?  Her saying she is in love and then acting cold sounds like the push-pull cycle that is part of BPD---they push you away, say it's over and then try to pull you back in. Is she still involved with her husband?