These relationships are indeed like an addiction and it is hard for us to sport out what is important and what isn't as everything is clouded with petty issues that get blown out of proportion.
It sounds to me that you are nowhere near stable enough in yourself emotionally to enable you to cope with a potential BPD relationship. It takes a very high degree of stability and sense of self, combined with an ability to accept things which at first would seem completely unreasonable.
Please work though the following to help you come to terms with what is involved being in BPD relationship
LESSONSI think you really need to focus on your own emotional centering before you wil be able to deal with a relationship like this. She is unlikely to change in the near term, and in fact most likely to get worse.
Waverider