hi shannan,
welcome to the bpdfamily. The website you have found is one designed to help support and encourage you. We understand exactly what you are going through because we have all been there too.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?People who are new to our site always have the
Lessons pointed out to them, they are in the box that run down the right hand side of your screen. The lessons are the place to start. There is a tremendous amount of helpful information attached to those links.
I know I used to have many many long circular arguments that started over nothing and quickly became volcanic with my partner. It's taken a while, and some real effort on my part but since learning about validation, BPD and communication skills those arguments are mostly a thing of the past. when they do pop up, I know what to do and how to respond.
You might already know that pwBPD (people with BPD) have very intense emotions and difficulty in regulating them. They tend to project their negative emotions on the people closest to them. We tend to reject being to blame or accepting fault causing conflict. Validation can help reduce those moments of conflict.
Here on the staying board, the board focusing on those of us working on our relationship we practice validation skills.
what do you think? do some of those Lessons look like they might apply to you and your situation?
'ducks