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Author Topic: BPD Boyfriend  (Read 333 times)
shannanshannan
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: October 05, 2015, 01:58:19 AM »

Hi All,

I don't know where to begin.

I've been with my parnter for nearly 4 years now. At first it was honeymoon, 4 months in and signs started to show. I thought nothing of it, i thought he had depression (he had a history of bad depression, drug abuse etc). Until about 1 year, i started to research and found all led to Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, i've been going through hell... i can't even begin to tell you all the things i have been told, had done to me by him as i'm sure some will know just by me saying that i have been through hell.

Of course, they have their good moments but then they have their most bad.

I get death threats from time to time, he has been on Zoloft for 7 months now which has helped more than ever but he has times where he doesn't take it and these are the times where he convinces himself that he isn't crazy and that it's everyone else.

I really need some tips on how to cope better, how to respond. I'm only just now learning to not respond... it's been really hard. No one believed me up until 3 months ago when he really showed it to our house mate and the housemates girlfriend works with people who have mental health problems... she has been such an amazing support but of course it's still hard and emotionally draining. This week, it's been on and off worse yesterday he threatened that i would chock on my promise ring if i didn't shut up and accept its my fault. His dad left him and his brother at as young age and he had to find his dad years and years later. He is now 23. His brother is fine, however my partner is not. Help?
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babyducks
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2920



« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2015, 05:22:02 AM »

Welcome

hi shannan,

welcome to the bpdfamily.   The website you have found is one designed to help support and encourage you.  We understand exactly what you are going through because we have all been there too.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

People who are new to our site always have the Lessons pointed out to them, they are in the box that run down the right hand side of your screen.   The lessons are the place to start.   There is a tremendous amount of helpful information attached to those links.

I know I used to have many many long circular arguments that started over nothing and quickly became volcanic with my partner.   It's taken a while, and some real effort on my part but since learning about validation, BPD and communication skills those arguments are mostly a thing of the past.   when they do pop up, I know what to do and how to respond.

You might already know that pwBPD (people with BPD) have very intense emotions and difficulty in regulating them.  They tend to project their negative emotions on the people closest to them.  We tend to reject being to blame or accepting fault causing conflict.    Validation can help reduce those moments of conflict.   

Here on the staying board, the board focusing on those of us working on our relationship we practice validation skills.

what do you think?   do some of those Lessons look like they might apply to you and your situation?

'ducks
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