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Author Topic: Do I tell my boss about my uBPDh  (Read 380 times)
Leena

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 14


« on: November 11, 2015, 05:23:35 PM »

My boss knows my h and I have had some rocky times. I have worked for him as long as I have been married - 10 yrs

So far I have mostly been able to manage at work. In fact without work sometimes I am not sure I would have made it this far with my hubby.

But now I have this understanding do you think it is wise to discuss with my boss, so for example he would then understand if my hubby rings in a meeting why I would need to answer or reply to a message. Or why some days I might be more distracted or distraught.

Or is it not worth the risk of it back firing,

Eg others finding out, him or his wife mentioning to him (although they have met very rarely), or worse been given special treatment, discriminated against because of it (unlikely)

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babyducks
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« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2015, 07:44:27 PM »

hi Leena,

While I can see the benefit of having some understanding with you boss, I think you raised a valid concern.   The potential for your husband to think of this as a betrayal of his confidences and trust.

I can tell you I have been in a similar situation twice.  The first time a family member asked for details about my partner and I disclosed probably more than I should have.   I sincerely regret it.  My family member has not been accepting or understanding.

The second time I was being interviewed for a book.   The author wanted to do a piece about my personal life including my partner.   I asked for that to be left out, and when the author didn't agree I skipped the interview.   

Different situations, but I guess I would lean on the side of caution.   

'ducks
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formflier
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« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2015, 07:48:44 PM »

 

I am a fan of boundaries... .

Work and personal are separate.  When the criss cross... things get messy.

So... .if they are separate now... keep it that way.

Boundaries are for your hubby as well.  When you are at work... .he doesn't need to be calling.

If there is a true crisis... that would be different... .but... .pwBPD tend to turn regular things into a crisis.

FF
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