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Author Topic: Some advice ando help  (Read 381 times)
Bella58
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: November 12, 2015, 03:29:27 AM »

Hi

I have been with my boyfriend now for 5 months and he has got BPD.

His main traits of it are anexity and very hyper.

We don't argue and don't intend to argue he is the most loving man I have ever been with and I truly believe he is the one for me and he believes that of me too .

Now we get the the problem

He has just recently took himself and he is hiding  away, from everyone and everything  he has told me he needs space to get better and help but he Is so scared that something bad will happen also his paranoia is very bad.

I just wish I knew how long it will take him to come out of this mood and will he come back to me or just keep hiding away from me ?
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babyducks
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2920



« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2015, 01:40:31 PM »

Hi Bella and welcome

Push/pull is pretty common for people who suffer from harmful intense emotions.   They feel engulfed and pull back until things feel safe again.

Was he diagnosed?    How did BPD get identified?

Ducks
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Bella58
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2015, 03:15:39 PM »

Yes he's been diagnosed through doctors and mental health care .

He ha been put on a new drug quatiapine

Any advice and help is gratefulying recieved.

He seems he knows what he is doing as he keeps saying sorry and he will chat to me soon he just needs some space and help and to get better
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an0ught
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 5048



« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2015, 07:08:16 AM »

Hi Bella58

Now we get the the problem

He has just recently took himself and he is hiding  away, from everyone and everything  he has told me he needs space to get better and help but he Is so scared that something bad will happen also his paranoia is very bad.

I just wish I knew how long it will take him to come out of this mood and will he come back to me or just keep hiding away from me ?

anxiety and panic are bad to deal with and it is natural to withdraw.

What can you do:

1) Respect his boundaries. Give him space. Treat him with respect. Don't push him.

2) Communicate in a validating manner. Hear his fear and anxiety. Reflect back that you hear it. If things are dark be willing at times to call them bleak. Don't put an optimistic slant on it. See the LESSON and workshop section on validation and S.E.T. (in the T part you can package a bit of reality in a way that gets through to him).

Welcome,

a0
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