Hi PinkPoker
On a more positive note when we started meeting up again a few weeks back he was always late so I told him I thought he did it on purpose and if he was more than 20 mins late I would leave. Ever since that day he's turned up on time! So maybe although he's shown aggressive towards me he may have taken my opinion on board? Who knows... .
Good move
. Words, empty threats are useless but boundaries with consequences for ourselves work. He knows you are serious.
Recasting what we say and do in a way that we stay in control where reasonably possible is a significant shift in perspective that takes time to get used to.
It makes a big difference.