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Is she setting my up?
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Topic: Is she setting my up? (Read 365 times)
twitchy
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Is she setting my up?
«
on:
November 13, 2015, 10:50:55 AM »
Yesterday I spent all day with my wife, with no issues or problems. Last night as we watched the news I got a little nervous because when she hears the name of a city where a lady from a previous r/s lives, it triggers her. During the weather forecast, that name is always on display on the map. I think that she doesn’t want to see or hear that name so she might close her eyes so as not to see the name on the weather map but if the weatherman says the name out loud, she will react and I fear she might explode but lately she has stayed cool. It is nerve-wracking. I pray that she will not dysregulate. Apparently she can sense my discomfort because she will ask me what I am thinking to which I reply with some comment the news or weather forecaster has just made.
It is usually her suggestion that we watch the news, so is she setting me up or something?
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Twitchy
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Chilibean13
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Re: Is she setting my up?
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Reply #1 on:
November 13, 2015, 11:55:47 AM »
That's a hard question to answer. Has she ever accused you watching the news in order to think about the exgf?
My guess is that when she hears the name then asks you what you are thinking, she may be picking up on tension in you. You may have a conditioned stress response to that particular news segment due to her previous responses. Then again, she may also feel so uncomfortable hearing the name of the town that she is looking to you for cues in how to respond. She may be feeling uncertain and wants to know if it's ok for her to feel uncertain.
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twitchy
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Re: Is she setting me up?
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Reply #2 on:
November 13, 2015, 12:58:50 PM »
"My guess is that when she hears the name then asks you what you are thinking, she may be picking up on tension in you."
You may be on to something Chilibean13, at first I was the one that would tune in to the news but when she began to react to that city being mentioned, I began trying to avoid the news.
She seems to have the ability to pickup on what I am feeling then she will question why I am feeling that way but usually I will deny having said feelings.
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CrazyChuck
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Re: Is she setting my up?
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Reply #3 on:
November 13, 2015, 01:21:26 PM »
Quote from: twitchy on November 13, 2015, 10:50:55 AM
she will ask me what I am thinking
My wife will do similar things. But I know she already has "what I'm thinking" in her head and it doesn't matter what I say. She probably hears in her mind that you are thinking about the ex. And what you say is "It might rain tomorrow".
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babyducks
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Re: Is she setting my up?
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Reply #4 on:
November 13, 2015, 01:37:14 PM »
PwBPD are highly highly sensitive. They can pick up on subtle changes in mood, tone, or facial expressions. Typically they assume the worst.
I would recommend telling the truth when she asks but keeping the truth very mild. Something like I never enjoy this part of the evening news and letting the topic drop.
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twitchy
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Re: Is she setting my up?
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Reply #5 on:
November 16, 2015, 10:32:24 AM »
Thanks y'all, I must try to not anticipate things so as not to become tense or nervous. This weekend was a pleasant one.
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Twitchy
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