Hi everyone,
My marriage has pivoted significantly since discovering this board last month. I started seeing that perhaps my Husband suffers from BPD. It's reduced a lot of conflict since I started following the advice.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we are now trapped in BPD hell. I already know tomorrow will be awful.
Interestingly, I believe I am a recovered BPD individual. I am 36 now and I believe I moved out of a BPD life at 33. I see a LOT of my former self in my husband. I never knew how difficult I was, and now I understand why so many of my past relationships failed. I have tried to have a sense of humor about this, stating that God placed me with my husband for a reason.
That being said, I'm 7 months pregnant and I am trying to insulate myself from this madness. The jealousy and insecurity takes a huge toll on my marriage, and my husband has been triggered all day with jealousy after I spent the afternoon with a female friend (2 hours) and now I want to see her again next week. My friend was overseas for 4 months, so we haven't been fighting about her.
Since getting married 11 months ago, the only way to maintain peace is if I cut out my friends and hobbies. I know this isn't sustainable, but I made that choice for a short-term fix. I am nervous for the day my baby (due in January) gets old enough where I can have a little bit of a "life" again.
Background: My husband is 52, brilliant, and amazing. I don't think HE BELIEVES he is any of these things, since BPD is rooted in low self worth. I am 36 and have a healthy mental constitution thanks to nearly a decade of healing from an abusive (BPD mother) past. My healthier constitution makes me impatient with my husband but this board has helped.
Sorry for jumping from topic to topic. Thanks for reading!
