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Author Topic: Update 2...  (Read 740 times)
MaroonLiquid
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« on: December 29, 2015, 10:33:38 PM »

Please don't take this as criticism or me pushing you to pursue her more - I am just exploring this in my head as I write.  First off, I also have a "no pursue" rule for myself as well, but for me it is because of my insecurity of believing that I am an attractive spouse.  If I pursue, then I feel like I am begging, and I don't know that I could look myself in the mirror in the morning if I did that.

Anyway, enough about me.  Is there a way to pursue without giving up control?  What if it was something as simple as flowers?  You express your love, but don't request anything in return.  You take a strong step towards her, but then let her decide if she wants to take a step forward too.

I'm not taking it as criticism.  I appreciate your input.  I do feel like I am begging and don't want that anymore.  Yesterday, my wife and I were texting about some softball stuff (I'm the president of the board and she is the treasurer) and she emailed some information to my ex wife and CC'd me about a something that my ex owes ($38) even though it was already discussed multiple times.  I realized the only reason she sent it was to sign it with her maiden name" to humiliate me.  I didn't respond to it and later she got real nice with me almost like she felt guilty and we texted several times throughout the night.  We left the texting on great terms and this morning I texted her some new information to add to a document.  We texted back and forth a few times and then she said, "When can I get my stuff from you this week and I need the code to the laptop."  I didn't respond.  First of all, it's bait.  Second of all, she knows that laptop is mine and I pay for it out of my student loan and I will not give her the code.  When I didn't respond, she said, "You can't ignore this ML, you are acting like a petulant child!"  Like I'm really going to answer her now. Smiling (click to insert in post). Anyway, she's looking for a fight and I refuse to give it to her.  She must really be beside herself and miserable to try and pick fight with me.  Also, they really don't like it when they get a taste of their own medicine.  They can ignore, ignore, ignore, but when you refuse to respond due to them being nasty, they can't stand it.

Went to our softball meeting this evening and everything went well during the meeting.  Right before the meeting, someone asked her if she got her dad down here ok and she said, she left without him because he was nasty to her and she wasn't going to put up with it.  We all said we were sorry to hear that.  After the meeting, my wife asked me if I was going to give her the stuff that she got in the divorce and I said, "No, not until I get what is mine."  She said, ":)o you want me to get a police officer over to your house?"  I just walked off and got in my car.  She drove off and flicked me off.  I did a search online tonight and found out we are divorced officially.  Actually I am a bit relieved and frankly not sure where to go from here.  I have let her go in a lot of ways regarding having a marriage in the current situation, but not sure where to go from here.  She is now my ex wife but trying to continue to fight.  Don't really get it.  You would think she would be happy that she got what she wanted!   Smiling (click to insert in post)  I noticed she didn't ask for anything or was nasty (in fact, we were intimate and loving with one another until the day she left) until she got back from leaving her dad and I guess had to take her nastiness and anger for her dad out on someone.  Crazy... .
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sweetheart
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« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2015, 03:48:38 AM »



Wow! Sorry ML, feeling relieved may change, ultimately this is not where you expected to be with this.

I remember asking whether she could just go ahead and divorce you without any input from you, it seems she could and she did.

I don't think she is taking her nastiness out on you ML, I don't feel the situation with her dad has anything to do with this, it always sounded as though she was clear about divorcing from the off.  I remember she said that being divorced would help her manage her life better financially, that seemed honest to me. Your w has managed thus far to keep you on her terms, because she knew that you wanted to be with her. That will be hard to process.

I'm not surprised you're not sure where to go with this now, so maybe it's important to go nowhere with it and do nothing at all for awhile. Just continue taking care of yourself.


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« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2015, 10:48:07 AM »

  ML,     I know this is a result you did not want.   Probably something to put on the legal board or at least to ask a lawyer about.  Is it valid and was it done properly.    If impropriety is found, is there recourse or damages for you.  Hang in there man.  Focus on self care.    

FF
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« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2015, 08:03:51 PM »

 

What a weird way to find out you are divorced.

Does it change anything for you?
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« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2015, 08:17:57 PM »

   What a weird way to find out you are divorced.   Does it change anything for you?

   I have the same thoughts.  There must be a detail that was missed.  A judge has to rule to do the divorce, which means a court date, which means notification, which means , well, lots of things.  A call and email doesn't cut it.        

FF
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« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2015, 11:33:17 PM »

What a weird way to find out you are divorced.

Does it change anything for you?

I have the same thoughts.  There must be a detail that was missed.

A judge has to rule to do the divorce, which means a court date, which means notification, which means ... .well... lots of things.

A call and email doesn't cut it.

 

FF

I found out something weird today that happened at the meeting last night that a lady that was in our meeting who knows us told my first wife.  While I went to get a drink, my wife started snapping pictures of my Surface Tablet that I bought myself (last week) to bridge the gap until (hopefully) my wife gives me my laptop back.  One of the other ladies asked her why she was taking pictures of me and she said, "He kept my laptop and now he has another and I'm taking pictures for my attorney."  She responded, "Ummm... .Okay... ."  What the heck? Smiling (click to insert in post)  She told my first wife that she knew she was lying because she knew the story of taking our laptop and told her, "I think she has finally gone off the deep end."  Very strange.  My wife (I actually don't know what to call her anymore) may have gone off the deep end.  Or she is having trouble with the fact that she carried out the divorce to completion... .HMMM... .Thoughts?
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MaroonLiquid
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« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2015, 11:50:31 PM »

Quote from: MaroonLiquid link=topic=288198.msg12714369#msg12714369


I found out something weird today that happened at the meeting last night that a lady that was in our meeting who knows us told my first wife.  While I went to get a drink, my wife started snapping pictures of my Surface Tablet that I bought myself (last week) to bridge the gap until (hopefully) my wife gives me my laptop back.  One of the other ladies asked her why she was taking pictures of me and she said, "He kept my laptop and now he has another and I'm taking pictures for my attorney."  She responded, "Ummm... .Okay... ."  What the heck? Smiling (click to insert in post)  She told my first wife that she knew she was lying because she knew the story of taking our laptop and told her, "I think she has finally gone off the deep end."  Very strange.  My wife (I actually don't know what to call her anymore) may have gone off the deep end.  Or she is having trouble with the fact that she carried out the divorce to completion... .HMMM... .Thoughts?

I hope this made sense to everyone.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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sweetheart
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« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2015, 05:06:04 AM »

To me ML, a lot of what your xw is doing seems to be linked to money.

It doesn't sound like she's gone crazy or off the deep-end, it seems like she's doing what she's always done intermittently.

I would want to find out for myself what is going on and check out where I stood, do you have plans to do this?

If you are officially divorced is there anything you need to do your end ?

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« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2015, 05:50:48 AM »

Sir, been following your post, was hopeful, now thinking you may have to change gears to protection mode for self preservation.
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« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2015, 05:52:59 AM »

To me ML, a lot of what your xw is doing seems to be linked to money. It doesn't sound like she's gone crazy or off the deep-end, it seems like she's doing what she's always done intermittently. I would want to find out for myself what is going on and check out where I stood, do you have plans to do this?  If you are officially divorced is there anything you need to do your end ?  

   There are two elements here.  1.  Legal reality 2.  Wife's interpersonal relations with you and others.   Sweetheart has it correct that she is doing her thing.  Others keep noticing or are getting a clearer picture.  You need to talk to a lawyer about number 1, sooner rather than later.  Unless the reality of a divorce means nothing changes between you guys on the interpersonal level.  Only you can make that call.  There is a big piece of legal process that is missing from the situation.    

FF
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« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2015, 12:23:30 PM »

As the wife of an attorney, I was dumbstruck by the idea of your wife divorcing you with only a phone call from her attorney serving as notification of the court date.

Later I googled no fault divorces and discovered that a divorce can be completed by one party through serving papers and that only one party has to appear in court.

What's missing here for me is that you seemed not to have received a notice to appear other than the phone message from her attorney. I doubt that would be enough to compel you to court. There should have been something in writing that was delivered to you.

I'm wondering what your legal options are at this point. Your wife certainly can divorce you without your consent, but the way it was done makes me think that something was done incorrectly.
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« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2015, 02:22:22 PM »

  I'm wondering what your legal options are at this point. Your wife certainly can divorce you without your consent, but the way it was done makes me think that something was done incorrectly.

   Yes, I totally agree.  My opinion, for what it's worth, is that you should have had proper notice of when a judge would look at it, so that you would have had a chance to appear.  Possibly there is something in the original papers that said if we don't get something from you in writing (a response to the filing) by such and such date, things will continue on without you.   I could see that be in there, but would hope that there is more than one chance for notification.  Usually there is service.  I remember that  Then there is separate notification of dates and deadlines to respond.  Phone call doesn't cut it in my book.    

FF
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« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2016, 10:03:12 AM »

Recommendation: post on the legal board.

Q1: do you need to talk to a lawyer to confirm you are legally divorced?

If do, you need to tell your employer that she and her kids need to be off your insurance due to a life event.

Q2: assuming A1 is YES. ... .Do you wish to fight it?

Q3: How do you wish to redefine your relationship with her in light of this?

I know that is the really tough question. 
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MaroonLiquid
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« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2016, 08:22:27 AM »

As the wife of an attorney, I was dumbstruck by the idea of your wife divorcing you with only a phone call from her attorney serving as notification of the court date.

What's missing here for me is that you seemed not to have received a notice to appear other than the phone message from her attorney. I doubt that would be enough to compel you to court. There should have been something in writing that was delivered to you.

I will check into this.  Not sure what the law states in the state I live in, but you have me very curious.

Possibly there is something in the original papers that said if we don't get something from you in writing (a response to the filing) by such and such date, things will continue on without you.   I could see that be in there, but would hope that there is more than one chance for notification.

I will go through my original paperwork that was mailed to me this evening and re-read it.

Recommendation: post on the legal board.

Once I read the paperwork, I will do that.


Q1: do you need to talk to a lawyer to confirm you are legally divorced?

I don't think so because when I checked online on the district clerk's website and it said, ":)isposed (Final)"

If do, you need to tell your employer that she and her kids need to be off your insurance due to a life event.

Working on this today.  She doesn't think I would do that because she knows that I love them and probably thinks I don't have the guts.

Q2: assuming A1 is YES. ... .Do you wish to fight it?

If something was done improper, I would fight what's in the decree, but not the outcome.

Q3: How do you wish to redefine your relationship with her in light of this?

I know that is the really tough question. 

Yes, this is a tough question.  I have been asked this by several people.  Where we stand now is we don't talk (text or otherwise) unless it's official softball business.  In fact, we don't even text anymore, just email.  Parents on my team (who haven't known her for a long time) are starting to think she is weird because now, she refers to me as "Coach" on official emails and won't use my name unless it's only sent to me.  She probably thinks it gets to me that I have been "banished" from her presence... .It doesn't... .In a way, I'm relieved that I am no longer in limbo.

Do I love her?  Very much.  Do I love her children?  Very much.  I feel sorry for them that they have a mentally ill mother.  Would I one day like for us to have a r/s again?  Very much... .I know this though, things would have to be different with her.  I have learned a lot from this.  I'm not perfect, but I hung in for all the right reasons and can hang my head high that I treated her well and wanted things to work for a year and a half.  I can't help what she chose or how she chose to handle things, but I can help how I was a "party" to it.  I realize I was played by her a lot over the last year and a half (knowing that I did things out of love for her) so she could get what she wanted.  She knew I didn't want a divorce and used that to her advantage.  That's mine to deal with and mine to change.  I don't want anymore of that.

Now, I need to find my own way.  I need to heal.  She needs to see what life is like without someone who loves her and that did more for her than any man she ever knew.  She needs to live her choices.  I have to deal with reality that we may never have an intimate (don't only mean sex here) r/s again.  We were so close for so long.  At times, I grieve for my best friend.  For years, we told each other everything.  She knew parts of me that I didn't share with anyone else.  I believe that went both ways.  She told me things that scared her that I now know as symptoms of BPD.  In me, she had a man who was loyal, loving, truly cared for her without thought of reward, stood by her no matter what (and I now know that was part of the problem), and yet wasn't good enough for her.  I realize now, until she is healthy, nothing and no one will be good enough for her.  I don't know what's next and that is scary on some level.  It still amazes me that I'm the only person on her Facebook that she still has blocked.  Didn't even do that for her ex husband who used and abused her and has never been a father to his kids.  That's a hard one to swallow too.  Have trouble with this one.
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« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2016, 08:45:02 AM »

Hi ML,

I don't remember if I've commented on any of your posts, but I've read all or most of them, rooting for you all the way.

Do I love her?  Very much.  Do I love her children?  Very much.  I feel sorry for them that they have a mentally ill mother.  Would I one day like for us to have a r/s again?  Very much... .I know this though, things would have to be different with her.  I have learned a lot from this.  I'm not perfect, but I hung in for all the right reasons and can hang my head high that I treated her well and wanted things to work for a year and a half.  I can't help what she chose or how she chose to handle things, but I can help how I was a "party" to it.  I realize I was played by her a lot over the last year and a half (knowing that I did things out of love for her) so she could get what she wanted.  She knew I didn't want a divorce and used that to her advantage.  That's mine to deal with and mine to change.  I don't want anymore of that.

Now, I need to find my own way.  I need to heal.  She needs to see what life is like without someone who loves her and that did more for her than any man she ever knew.  She needs to live her choices.  I have to deal with reality that we may never have an intimate (don't only mean sex here) r/s again.  We were so close for so long.  At times, I grieve for my best friend.  For years, we told each other everything.  She knew parts of me that I didn't share with anyone else.  I believe that went both ways.  She told me things that scared her that I now know as symptoms of BPD.  In me, she had a man who was loyal, loving, truly cared for her without thought of reward, stood by her no matter what (and I now know that was part of the problem), and yet wasn't good enough for her.  I realize now, until she is healthy, nothing and no one will be good enough for her.  I don't know what's next and that is scary on some level.  It still amazes me that I'm the only person on her Facebook that she still has blocked.  Didn't even do that for her ex husband who used and abused her and has never been a father to his kids.  That's a hard one to swallow too.  Have trouble with this one.

This quote captures my feelings exactly, and probably many of us.  I wasn't married to my exBPDgf, but the sentiments are the same.  I admire how much strength and sturdiness you manifested in these last few months, and can imagine how you must be feeling right now.  I've had similar feelings.

Your words demonstrate how clear you are on the path forward, and that is an inspiring thing. Be well.

Chump
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« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2016, 08:52:06 AM »

  ML,    Not sure if I remember in your story if you ever hired a lawyer.  I would read over everything and pay for an hour or two of time in order to make sure you understand   1.  If you are divorced (don't trust websites, phone calls and emails).  Trust a lawyer that you have hired and that is legally bound to support you.  2.  Might want to hold off on insurance stuff until you know for sure you are divorced.  Note:  Very likely that you are divorced.  If I had to bet, I would put my money on that.    However, not the place for guesswork.    Dude, you have fought the good fight.  Hold you head high for the choices that you have made.  You are not responsible for your wife's choices.    

FF
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« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2016, 12:20:23 PM »

A couple of comments... .

1)  I too have never heard of a divorce that did not require service of the original petition for divorce and for the final court appearance.  That's probably because of the states I've lived in and their processes.  Still, it seems weird.

2)  I'm putting on my HR hat here regarding the insurance.  If you are divorced, taking them off the insurance is not only a change due to Life Events.  line -- if you aren't married to her, she and the children are no longer your dependents and thus are NO LONGER ELIGIBLE to stay on your insurance under your company benefits plan, i.e., with the cost supplemented.  They can go on COBRA, but payments won't be your responsibility, and costs will be significantly higher.
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« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2016, 03:36:12 PM »

Agree with Gagrl. If you knowingly keep her on your insurance as you "wife" after divorce, you are committing fraud.

Don't.

Your marital status also impacts your tax filings. You don't want to be on the hook for tax fraud either. (Besides it will likely reduce your taxes)

Make sure you have it right before you file more paperwork you might need to modify.

Again. Talk to a lawyer.
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« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2016, 12:02:24 AM »

Your words demonstrate how clear you are on the path forward, and that is an inspiring thing. Be well.

Chump

Thank you.  It has been a hard year and a half and there's times where I feel fine and there is times where I feel lost and unsure of what the future holds.  Obviously this is a new road for me.  

As far as the divorce goes, I am going to seek counsel regarding the validity of it.  The last 24 hours or so, I am feeling a little down.  I miss her and not really sure why we aren't speaking (other than softball).  I've been good and still am for the most part.  I refuse to chase and won't be weak anymore by putting myself in a situation to get shot down or give the narcissistic part of her personality that power.  I want to feel important to.  I can't really tell if this is ST by her, or her way of dealing with us being divorced or what.  It's ridiculous that we were married for 6 years and yet she acts like I don't exist (outside of forced conversation about softball).  Maybe she is pissed that I told her that I wasn't giving her what she asked for unless I got mine back from her.  I miss her companionship tonight.  Thoughts?
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« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2016, 06:33:04 AM »

 

Feeling down and hurting and missing her sounds appropriate and natural to me considering the situation.

But that doesn't make it any easier to experience it.

You've got rejection, uncertainty, and tough choices all going on now. (And only the uncertainty is easily resolved!)

Hang in there and most importantly take good care of yourself.
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« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2016, 11:08:29 AM »

       We care about you and are rooting for you.    Do what you can do to resolve the uncertainty.  For the rest of it, sit with those feelings, process them.     You have been through some huge life events and the strength and growth you have accomplished are amazing.  Hang in there,  

FF
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« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2016, 11:35:55 AM »

Your words demonstrate how clear you are on the path forward, and that is an inspiring thing. Be well.

Chump

Thank you.  It has been a hard year and a half and there's times where I feel fine and there is times where I feel lost and unsure of what the future holds.  Obviously this is a new road for me.  

As far as the divorce goes, I am going to seek counsel regarding the validity of it.  The last 24 hours or so, I am feeling a little down.  I miss her and not really sure why we aren't speaking (other than softball).  I've been good and still am for the most part.  I refuse to chase and won't be weak anymore by putting myself in a situation to get shot down or give the narcissistic part of her personality that power.  I want to feel important to.  I can't really tell if this is ST by her, or her way of dealing with us being divorced or what.  It's ridiculous that we were married for 6 years and yet she acts like I don't exist (outside of forced conversation about softball).  Maybe she is pissed that I told her that I wasn't giving her what she asked for unless I got mine back from her.  I miss her companionship tonight.  Thoughts?

My guess is that she is also emotionally processing the fact that she is now divorced.  I wouldn't read anything more sinister into it.
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« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2016, 10:56:24 PM »

My guess is that she is also emotionally processing the fact that she is now divorced.  I wouldn't read anything more sinister into it.

OK.  Well now, I'm posting on both this board and detaching.  I'm detaching with love but still hopeful for a r/s at some point.  I love her and can't see myself with anyone else.  I'm a little sad, but not down.  Just miss her and the kids.

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« Reply #23 on: January 15, 2016, 09:28:47 AM »

My guess is that she is also emotionally processing the fact that she is now divorced.  I wouldn't read anything more sinister into it.

OK.  Well now, I'm posting on both this board and detaching.  I'm detaching with love but still hopeful for a r/s at some point.  I love her and can't see myself with anyone else.  I'm a little sad, but not down.  Just miss her and the kids.

The last few weeks I have had very little contact with my now ex-wife (still hate typing that).  The contact we have had has only been about softball.  I haven't avoided her at practice, but won't go out of my way to talk to her either.  We have had one phone conversation in the last 2-1/2 weeks that lasted for about 4 minutes, again, around softball.  We have had one long text session but it was only about softball.  I have kept myself closed off to her almost completely without being obvious or rude.  I still want to talk to her and tell her I love her, be close to her, but I won't.  Not right now at least.  Last night though, I noticed her act different toward me.  Couldn't tell if she was being nice, trying to spend time with me or what.  Anyway, I was in the batting cages with one of my players working on mechanics and noticed her staring at me several times out of the corner of my eye.  I paid no real attention to it and kept on coaching.  A few minutes later I noticed she came over to the cage and stood there and struck up a conversation with my biological daughter out of nowhere.  I found it strange since she hasn't spoken to my kids in four weeks.  I still didn't really acknowledge her as I was engrossed in coaching.  That was my priority.  While the girls were picking up balls in between batters, she turned to me and asked if I wanted the rest of her energy bar because she was full.  I was kind of hungry so I said, "Sure.  Thank you."  She walked back and sat down.  At the end of the night, she walked out to our vehicles with me and her daughter said, "Mom, I'm hungry." Our daughter always did that when she wanted us to all eat together (Not even sure my wife didn't put her up to it).  They started talking about that and I just said, "You guys have a good evening and be safe." and she responded, "You too."  I think she was shocked that I didn't say, "Let's go eat."  I wanted to, but I am doing what is best for me right now and keeping very healthy boundaries.  It was especially tough yesterday because I missed her a lot yesterday and the day before.   
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« Reply #24 on: January 15, 2016, 09:43:14 AM »

  MaroonLiquid, I'm very curious about the mechanics of the divorce.  It seems there really is a divorce.  What have you found out about that?  Hang in there man!   

FF
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« Reply #25 on: January 15, 2016, 12:21:26 PM »

 Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) good work honoring your deeper feelings.

For you seperation felt different than divorce and you are working through the experience of divorce now. It is tough. Especially since she made the change not truly understanding shat it would mean to you. Not that you failed to communicate it to her, but she lacked the empathy to even be able to understand.

  I know how it feels. (Divorce wasn't my threshold and I've not crossed that one yet, but will in a few months.) I remember well when I crossed that threshold, and I'm still feeling unhappy and uncomfortable with my wife's inability to get it and how surprised she was when her actions had consequences for a change.

Hang in there, man. I'm here to say that it does get better. The two hardest times of my life were the time I started enforcing boundaries against abuse and the months my marriage was ending.
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« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2016, 03:06:18 PM »

Ok... .Help me out here... .So Sunday, my softball team that I coach had a scrimmage Sunday afternoon.  I noticed my wife (ex-wife?  not even sure what to call her anymore  Smiling (click to insert in post)) pulled up.  I noticed she looked really good.  I was watching my pitchers warm up (facing the stands) and I noticed my wife staring at me again.  I'll be honest, I couldn't take my eyes off of her either  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).  Anyway, the girls played a great game.  My biological daughter pitched a great game allowing only 1 run, and my step-daughter hit a 2 run home run over the centerfield fence!  Her very first real home run of her life.  It was amazing.  Anyway, after the game, we had a team board meeting/dinner and my wife sat right next to me.  We went through the meeting and then stayed after for a few minutes while the kids finished eating.  We began to hold hands and rubbing each other's leg.  We had to get some paperwork done for the team and because we always have done it together, she asked me to come over and help her.  I asked when was a good night for her and she said, "tonight or tomorrow."  I told her that "tonight worked for me."  She gave me a smile (It was apparent we both had the same idea   and then we left as the girls were done eating.  We got to her place and we watched a movie with the kids.  After it was over, she told them it was time to for them to go to bed.  We stayed up for a while longer, finished some of the paperwork and then watched another movie together.  It wasn't long into the movie that we weren't actually watching the movie anymore (started making out).  She told me that she has been thinking about me and wanted me and that she dressed up and got her nails done that morning just for me.  I told her she looked great (did earlier in the evening also).  She said, "Thank you." and then she said that even though she doesn't feel pretty, I've always made her feel beautiful.  Once the making out got too heavy for the living room, we decided to move it into her room.  After intimacy, I held her and we talked for a while.  She told me that she wishes we could go away without the kids even for a day or two.  I responded and said, "That would be awesome!"  She told me she was tired of fighting with me (I was thinking, "I haven't fought with you in over a year   Smiling (click to insert in post)), and doesn't want to be without me.  I simply said, "I feel the same way."  

Last night, I went back over to my wife's house to finish our team paperwork.  We had one of the best laughs we have had in a while.  When the kids went to bed they all gave me a big hug (oldest daughter went to sleep in my wife's bed) and then my wife and I sat down on the couch for about 2 hours and talked.  We talked about her oldest son (he is 18 and a senior in high school) and how she is at a crossroads with him.  I listened 98% of the time.  We talked about him possibly going into the military when he graduates and how scared she is for him.  I validated her feelings by saying how normal that was.  After validating some more, she started crying and hugged me really tight.  We talked for a while longer and prayed together.  She hugged me and kissed me good night and I left.   We have been texting and talking on the phone since, but don't know what is going on with her.  I'm not thinking too much into it knowing it could change tomorrow!   Smiling (click to insert in post)   I just won't think about it.  Thoughts?  
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« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2016, 03:11:30 PM »

 

Huh, ? 

Well, is this going to work for you.  If does this every week or so or every month or so?

This is good news for your long term r/s (I think).  Make sure to stay inside her push pull dynamic (for now).

Interesting,

FF
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« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2016, 04:02:30 PM »

Wow! That's a major push/pull cycle that she had to take to the Divorce level. Enjoy the ride!
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« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2016, 04:53:14 PM »



Protect your feelings and be aware you are now a test pilot.

FF
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