What's your funniest dysreg moment?

[Chilibean13]

I thought we would lighten the mood a little. In the moment, a dysregulation by our pwBPD is never funny. It's scary and can be overwhelming, but sometimes, something happens during the dyreg that is just so funny or ridiculous you can't help but laugh about it later.

For instance, a couple weeks ago my H was dysregulating and went to kick the dog bowl/feeder stand across the floor. He managed to kick it but from the other room I heard him say, "I slipped." I thought he was trying to lie about throwing/kicking things around by saying he slipped. After he calmed down, I walked into the kitchen and saw the dog bowl and feeder strewn around. He told me that when he went to kick it, he missed, slipped, and fell on his butt. I laughed. He laughed. ANd I was able to say, "That's what you get for throwing a fit." I still giggle just thinking about it.

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[flourdust]

Some of my wife's proclamations in the heat of dysregulation.

My favorite has to be "I'm never going to eat dinner again!" 

Steve Carrell could make a movie about BPD called The 40 Year Old Toddler.

[hope2727]

Him screaming for over 3 hours about how I wanted him money and house and would never take his kids from him. We have no children, he doesn't own a home I do, and he is flat broke.

The other one I liked is when he came raging in about how I was cheating because of some footprints in the yard but before he could finish the sentence realized they were his own foot prints. At least that time he was able to find his wise mind and laugh about it.

Poor bugger I really do miss him. I really did (do) love him.

[Turkish]

This happened based upon a previous dysregulation which could be chalked up to "the guy doesn't want to ask for directions and it frustrates his mate," I basically passed an entrance to a hotel on a back street in San Francisco that was a one way street and I had to drive up 8 blocks to turn around. She had an hours long dysregulation. It was bad.

Some months later, we were driving to find a local farm in the middle of a nearby city. She was driving and had printed out directions from yahoo maps. I had looked online and memorized the route (it wasn't that far off the freeway). As we were passing the farm on the right, I said, "Oh, there's the entrance, see: there is the sign with the name, and it says 'entrance.'" She wouldn't listen to me because the text directions that she had printed out said that she was to go up to the next light (a block up the road where that was nothing but a huge farm field on the right, and a strip mall on the left), make a U-turn, then turn left. So she did... .proceeding to bring us back to the same entrance we had just passed. She was so adamant to prove that her way was better. By then, of course, I knew better than to say anything.

[thisworld]

This came out in one breath:

"She is like a sister to me I've never had anything sexual with her I got to meet her Dad and also took her virginity." Torn between keeping a calm face and spraying my drink, I got told off "And what are you looking at?"

And another funny one was he dysregulated because of a text message I sent him on his way home, he said it was the least loving, the most horrible thing one could ever send to someone and I was a loveless woman constantly mocking him with my sarcasm, and then he realized that it was him who had sent it to me.   

[Verbena]

I suggested to my husband that he move the flatbed trailer closer to the debris we were gathering up.  If something is my idea it's automatically wrong, so he quickly said no, he wasn't doing it.

After he had to drag a bunch of limbs way over to where he had left the trailer, he began to complain about how far away the trailer was and that he was going to move it. 

I responded by saying, "That's why I wanted to move it closer." 

He was instantly angry and looked like he wanted to kill someone.  "I KNOW that's what you said!"

It wasn't really funny at the time but kind of is now.   

[flowerpath]

He was standing at the kitchen counter, and when I asked him a simple question about his itinerary for a work-related trip he was about to take, he threw pizza up onto the ceiling. 

I found out after he left that it was not a work-related trip as he had told me, but a trip out west with some family members.  So yeah, that question put him on the edge.

[unicorn2014]

Lol! Oh this thread is awesome, thanks for this.   

[Daniell85]

I have one. A while back i was being harrassed by one of boyfriend's girl minions about how much he hated me and couldnt figure out how to get rid of me. So i posted a few photos recently (at the time) on facebook with him hugging and kissing me on vacation the week before. He saw them within 30 seconds and told me i had 2 minutes to take them down ( so she wouldnt see and know he was lying).

He said if i didnt remove them he was going to call the police. I was lmao, gave him the number to my local police dept,  and left them there.  

No one ever contacted me from the police dept. I have been labled as untrustworthy by boyfriend ever since.  

I dont actually bother with that silliness anymore.

[EaglesJuju]

I have quite a few funny stories, but one is my favorite.

When all those nude celebrity pictures were being leaked, my boyfriend downloaded all of  them and saved him to his computer.  The next day we were having a conversation about the celebrities.  He said, "It's horrible that their privacy was violated in such a major way. They did not ask for their pictures to be passed around... ." Then the conversation  somehow got shifted to Justin Bieber. I made the mistake of saying I feel bad for him.  He got up from the room and screamed, "Why don't you go and f him then!"  Who knew that Justin Beiber and celebrity naked pictures trigger dysregulation.

[Notwendy]

Justin Bieber! Oh no. . I'm old enough to be his mother and all he makes me think of is that I would tell him he's grounded!

[maryy16]

Here's mine... .I was driving with H and had stopped at a red light. I had received a text as I was driving so while I was sitting at the light, I checked my phone and replied to the text. H started reprimanding me about using my phone while driving. I said "But I'm not driving." He said sarcastically , "Are you still in control of the vehicle? It's against the law you know." He went on and on about it.

Well, not one week later HE got a ticket for texting while stopped at a red light! He came home complaining about the injustice of this and how the cop was a jerk, etc. When I reminded him that he knew that texting while stopped at a red light was against the law, he claimed to not remember the incident where he reprimanded me and that he had no idea that what he had done was against the law! Karma's a b___!

[Chilibean13]

These are so funny. Thanks for sharing

[VitaminC]

Yes, brilliant thread! Thank you Chilliebean! :D

For some reason I've been thinking of the following the last couple of days:

Tuesday: boyfriend says lovingly "you're one of a kind, you're like no one else"

Thursday boyfriend close to shouting "you're just like everyone else!"

Me: "Ok, so I'm like no one else, and I'm like everyone else"

Boyfriend splutters angrily: "You're both!"

Boyfriend: "You're too unpredictable, 'i can't handle it"

Few days later boyfriend says dismissively: "You're so predictable."

Me: "I thought I was unpredictable"

Boyfriend pauses and says in controlled and exasperated voice: "You're predictably unpredictable"

Boyfriend texts on Christmas Day : "I am not ok"

Boyfriend arrives an hour later and announces "I was doing ok, just fine"

Me: ":)idn't you say you weren't ok? And now you're saying you were ok? Is there a contradiction there or am I imagining things?"

Boyfriends eyes roll around his head and when he can find no way out shrugs shoulders angrily: "So?"

[VitaminC]

Steve Carrell could make a movie about BPD called The 40 Year Old Toddler.

hahahha! good one!

[Eyeamme]

My uBPD daughter was on the phone with me. She was on her cell and kept dropping out on me. I would say "I can't hear you" she would talk really loud. It would still drop out. Finally I said "it isn't because I can't hear you, it is because you keep dropping out". She screams at me "forget it, you are deaf".

[leggomyeggshell]

There's nothing funny about a dysregultion; this is psycho behavior.  However in making fun of the disabled "a-hole" I mean it depends on how explosive their behavior is that they feel they can get away with : my uBPDso has been caught in drunk tank at least twice proclaiming her innocence, then she projects onto me alcoholism... .  The second time she claims the officer set her up by fasfying the breathalyzer... .  I get that could happen but I talked to her 5 minutes before her arrest and she she seemed toasted... .  Then she joins aa and claims she is a saint...    Arghh

[maryy16]

I've got another one.

H: The shower drain is clogged. I'll fix it later.

Me: Oh, I didn't notice that it was clogged last night when I took a shower.

H:  FINE! I was going to fix it for you, but now I'm not!

Then he pointed his finger in my face and said, "This is all your fault!"

Huh?

[enlighten me]

When my exgf was pregnant she stood on the stairs and started screaming at me. Calling me the c word and then said she was going to get some of her male friends to come and give me a kicking. At the time I was baffled as it had come out of nowhere. I also hoped she would call her friends as even if I lost the fight it would have been a way to release all the pent up anger and frustration that I had been bottling up inside.

After we had split up I went around to see my son. I was sat on the floor playing with him and she started on about something. I sat up so I could talk to her and she started raising her voice at me and told me not to threaten her. I said when have I ever threatened you? she said well you loom over me and that's threatening. I said I have never done or said anything that could be classed as threatening. he said Oh and I have I suppose. I said yes you threatened to have me beaten up. She looked at me as if I was mad and said I never said that. You must have Alzheimer's or something as I never said that.

[SweetCharlotte]

New Year's Eve uBPDh got a little frisky and was trying to play patty cake with my D12, only she wasn't having any of it. She is not amused when he goes into regressive behaviors, because she would like to feel more grown up.

As his persistent patty-cake smacking got more annoying, she pushed him so hard he fell right off of his chair, spilling his drink on the carpet.

Two days later he was blaming me, saying that I had no control over her and that I refused to give him the authority to control her. Therefore, the way she treats him is intolerable. When I recounted the scene above, he told me that this it didn't happen that way at all—he was an innocent victim.

So I told him that now I understood that I was not to believe my senses, but only what he tells me. My senses could deceive me, but he never would. He started to nod in agreement until he noticed the sarcasm. Even he started to laugh a little.

[IsItHerOrIsItMe]

I work in a small office, and for awhile we had a Dr. in one of the other offices. 

I always parked on the far side of the lot, but at some point I noticed a car parked by the ramp, straddling two spaces.  I figured I'm leaving a space, but if this jerk is taking two spaces right by the door I'll park right next to him.

So instead of parking between the lines, I'd just park nice and close next to this guy.  Well, he obviously didn't like that and finally parked on the far side of the lot, still taking 2 spaces so no one would be close to his car, but at least it was in the part of the lot that wasn't used much.

I relayed all this to my w.

One day I actually saw the driver of the other car, and it was a woman.  I told my wife I thought that was odd, usually it's men who are so protective of their cars... .

From that day on my wife complained about my 'relationship' with the other woman driver... .At no time did she acknowledge the other woman must think I'm a jerk, and caused her to park farther away from the building... .

But the point where I finally laughed was when my wife visited the office and complained because my truck, and the other woman's car were parked facing each other (my trucked backed in on the close side, her car backed in on the far side).  In her mind we must have parked at the same moment, looked across the parking lot into each others eyes and decided to chuck it all and be with each other... .

It's been awhile, but I used to joke that when I commit her that will be the story I'll tell to get the Dr. to sign the paper... .

[Yaffle]

Just last night the GF said to me 'The teacher said today that the kids are a credit to us both' slight pause 'No actually she said both kids are a credit to me'

Woe betide giving me any credit for what I do on the parenting front!

[Cat Familiar]

My husband has been depressed lately and I was feeling warm and loving and wanted to support him emotionally, so I asked if he wanted space or if he wanted to talk about what he was feeling.

To my surprise, he responded. "It doesn't matter. You're just trying to set me up so you can attack me.  I tried patiently to validate him, use SET, etc.  But then he became certain his hypothesis was correct. He began saying things like "All you do is criticize me or ask me for stuff."

Finally, I got frustrated and raised my voice saying, "I'm really tired of your unkind and nasty attitude toward me. I did everything I could to make your sister's visit during the holidays a pleasant experience. I've been really supportive of you. I don't deserve this unkind treatment.

I said, "Yes, I asked for a new wall heater in the room where your sister stayed because the old one kept leaking combustion gasses and stinking and the pilot light kept blowing out. Yes, I asked to get the septic tank pumped out. Yes, I asked to have a locksmith come because I couldn't fix the entrance door myself." (Meanwhile, I thought of the $7000 camera he just bought himself.)

When he countered, with, "Well, it's your house." (He knows that drives me crazy because I bought the property and paid for most of the construction--this was before he inherited a boatload of money. But I think of it as our home.)

So I exited the argument and drove off in the ATV with the wagon loaded with yard waste, on the way to the compost pile. I figured I might as well do something useful. He wanted to continue arguing and I told him I'd be back in 15 minutes.

When I returned, he had calmed down and asked if I wanted to talk. ":)id you really mean some of those comments that started with 'You always... .," I asked.

"You should never take at face value anything that's said in an argument," he said.

That turned my world upside down. I'm much more truthful when arguing; I forget to be discreet.

[Cat Familiar]

Years after this happened, I can now look back on this experience with my BPD mother and think it was funny--however it was anything but that at the time:

My dad had passed away and now I was overseeing my mother's care, as I had promised him on his deathbed. She was still relatively independent, but I could see the dementia was adding to what I didn't know at the time was BPD. She had always been "different" but it wasn't until years later that I understood what was going on.

I lived hundreds of miles away, so every time I visited, I had to make meaningful changes and as recalcitrant as she was, every change she fought bitterly.

I made an appointment with an attorney to set up a trust and power of attorney. She reluctantly accompanied me, was rude to both the attorney and his secretary, who served as a witness. When we got into the car to go home, she accused me of conspiring with him to steal everything she owned, remove her from her house and leave her on the streets with only a shopping cart full of her possessions.

Later she told me his secretary had given her a "shot" so that she would comply with signing the documents.

This was her memory of the event. She maintained this version until the day she died.

[Cat Familiar]

I'm in a roll with the Mom stuff... .lots of what I ascribed to dementia, I'm now seeing as BPD, since her dementia was never really that bad until the last few months of her life.

We were seated at a bank employee's desk, renewing a long term investment and my mother looks at me in my sleeveless top says in a very loud voice, "You have arms like a man!"

You could have heard a pin drop in that bank. Everyone looked away and tried to be very involved in their own paperwork, but the bank officer and I made eye contact and tried to hide our amusement.

It was really upsetting to my mother to see muscles on my skinny frame. I think to her, it was a sign that she had failed as a mother, rather than the fact that I live on a ranch.

                                                       ###

Another time I had taken her to a restaurant. We placed our order and the server brought us water and we conversed briefly about local news. Granted, my mother's hearing at that time was not great, but it was still pretty good. Somehow she got it in her mind that I had ordered her a potato.

As the server left the table, my mother gave me an irate look and started yelling, "I DON'T WANT A POTATO!"


All in all, taking care of my mother the last five years of her life was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn not to be embarrassed by other peoples' behavior.