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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: The conclusion of the holiday saga  (Read 384 times)
Thunderstruck
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 823



« on: January 05, 2016, 09:50:20 AM »

This is so crazy it'll make your head spin.

I started posting about it here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=287312.0

Our temp CO splits the holiday break on Christmas morning. This year uBPDbm was supposed to have the first part of break (from school gets out until Christmas) and we were supposed to have the second part. Due to how it fell, we had a bigger slice of the break. We made plans to go see DH's father because he has stage 4 cancer.

uBPDbm made plans to supposedly go to another state to see her older daughter (who is not my DH's, and lives with uBPDbm's parents). This was during her parenting time, so she gave up all her time to us. She told SD10 it was our fault that we wouldn't "let" her see her mom or sister. She even had SD10 open her presents a week early.

We come to find out, she didn't even spend Christmas Eve or Christmas with her older daughter. She went with a new boyfriend on this trip and spent those days with him and his mom (in a different state entirely).

uBPDbm brought the older daughter back down for the second half of break. The entire time she was asking SD10 "When are you going to see your sister? Your sister misses you. She wants to see you." Poor SD10 was really upset. She wanted to spend the time seeing her grandparents, but she also wanted to see her sister. It was a sucky position to be in.

Well, DH's father had chemo and wasn't feeling well, so we decided to come home early. We worked out an arrangement with uBPDbm that she could have SD10 for the last two days of break if we could have her the night before her birthday. It all worked out.

So now yesterday we were contacted by this lady. She married the guy who we all believe is the father of the older daughter. uBPDbm let them see the older daughter on break, and they were taking her to a theme park in another city with the lady's kids as well. Everything was going well until... .the morning we dropped SD10 off. At 6am they get a call from uBPDbm saying they had to return the older daughter immediately or she was going to call the police and say they kidnapped her. Then she started telling them (and the older daughter) that this guy wasn't even her father and that her father died.

This poor lady is so fed up. I said to her "You should have contacted me sooner, we could have swapped stories over wine!".  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Oh, and we also found out that uBPDbm lost yet another job and is now working somewhere else. Her phone seems to be disconnected because she didn't pay the bill. AND the lady said to me that she thinks uBPDbm is getting evicted from the new place for falsifying records (uBPDbm got evicted from the last place just a few months ago, so maybe the lady is confused... .I'm still waiting to find evidence that this is going on).
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nope
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: married
Posts: 951



« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2016, 07:17:32 AM »

Look on the bright side, the holiday season is now over for another year. Things should soon return to whatever the usual normal is with the BPD. Has there been any movement on court? Is SD10's birthday coming coming up soon? Do you think the BPD mom will follow through with her end of the trade?
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Thunderstruck
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 823



« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2016, 09:28:47 AM »

We are STILLLLLL waiting on the CE. Our L and the CE have been saying "any day now" since last March. 

Her birthday is in a few weeks! uBPDbm promised her a sleepover, but yeah... .probably not gonna happen. I think uBPDbm will eventually follow through on the trade, but she might do something like keep SD10 out of school forcing an exchange, and jerking us around with the exchange place and time to make it difficult.
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
bravhart1
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 653


« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2016, 04:02:05 PM »

You have an attorney right?

I would love to know what he thinks is going on with this CE! It's almost been a year, I don't see how the CE can be used after its taken so long. Have you paid for this?

Has udBPDm paid her part? Is it verifiable?

Mom is clearly a brilliant star who has spun way out of her orbit. I'd be a wreck letting this con artist anywhere near my SD unsupervised.  I'm all out of patience for any more of this BPD drama, how does one keep doing it?

Here's hoping it all comes together soon. 

Here if you need a shoulder
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