Relationship over 4 years ago and ex is attached

[Ronnyball]

I was married to a Narcissistic woman for five years before she went off her mood stabilizers and snapped.  Before I agreed to marry her I asked if I could talk to her doctors to see if there was anything I needed to know about and she said fine.  We went to two of her doctors, I asked pointed questions and they responded as if they never heard the question.  I had no idea about the HIPPA law which states that the doctor is supposed to inform me that she had a personality disorder, but she got to the doctors and threatened them by saying she would lawyer up so they both said nothing.  Rather than think something was off, I assumed a doctor wouldn't lie by omission and since they both acted the same way when questioned I again assumed if there was anything bad I would be told... .

Then she quit her job and accused her boss of sexual harassment and after three years of tests and lies, she was proved a liar and rather than getting millions, she got $120,000 to go away.  She then pretended to have PTSD as a result and got $100,000 from disability and pension money that she was supposed to use for her "sickness."  

She went off her meds and was a real b___ and one day demanded a divorce and I accepted.  The rest of the week I was there she was sweet.  Then I moved out and now its thanksgiving 2011 and her daughter sends me a text stating that I had an affair with her when she was 24 - years old.

Once the divorced got started she accused me of trying to get the CIA to have her and her daughter killed because I supposedly was ordered by the court to pay her an "undisclosed" amount of money which never happened - I don't know anyone in the CIA and that would be similar to going to the police and asking them to kill her... . it made no sense at all.  Then they quickly found out that there was no order to pay from any judge and that she had a son as well and they asked her way I would go after him as well and she could not answer them.  When I talked to the police over the phone, they said I was in no trouble at all - and when I hung up the question they did ask was "what do you think is wrong with your wife and step daughter... .

Eventually, the divorce bankrupted me and at the time I had a score of over 800 so I could least of buy anything I could afford.  Then I went on a dating site and was getting of 100 women emailing me and when I would set something up I would get a call telling me I'm not their type - then a woman I was dating got in contact with her and that didn't go over well - eventually I had to break it off -- too much drama for me.  

Here is the kicker - for the last four years (since the day I left her) the "ex" has put up a blog and told her lies to the public.  It's amazing that she can do that and get away with it but she has.  When I put the same profile on a dating site that got me over 100 emails from women, I now get zero and I've seen she's blocked quite a bit of women so I'm assuming she hacks into my computer (the police confirmed that she can hack my computer but its too much work for then to go after a hacker who is only focused on trying to ruin one person's life.

And the rebound that I started a relationship two years after the divorce started turned out to be a borderline which makes sense - borderlines and narcissists can be the same or compliment each other.  I even introduced her to my shrink I was seeing at the time when I said I thought she was a borderline, she agreed and when I said I am going to break it off she told me not to.  What the heck?  

Anyway, that's the reality of the situation - I'm inconvenienced but not angry or hateful because I know she cannot help it.  I just think it's remarkable that I have not seen or talked to this psycho woman in more than four years and she still won't let go.  We see the same doctor and he said she's still in love with me but I find that hard to believe; if she wanted me back, she should have been sweet and said she was sorry.  The police and everyone else say that I'm lucky there are no kids and I wasn't married to her for 10 years.

I would love to read any comments you might have positive or negative.  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Fian]

In that situation, I would probably move to another state.  Also if she is hacking you, get a new computer, and visit other websites, so she doesn't know where to hack.

[Daniell85]

I have been divorced since 2002. I told my husband I wanted a divorce in May 2000. He has spent the last 15+ years trying to "take you down" Danielle.

A lot of ugly stuff has been directed my way, so I know where you are coming from. So yes, disordered people can become obsessed with a target and aggressively attack, or run smear campaigns that are very destructive.

You landed on the staying board. It sounds like you are way past wanting to stay in some sort of relationship with your ex.

Are you looking for ways of coping with what has happened to you? If you were wondering if you have been alone in this sort of thing, you haven't been. To validate you, these extended obsessions do happen, and they cause a lot of harm.

I agree with the above poster. Take security measures with your computer or get a new one. The local police may not do much about hacking. Hacking is a federal crime. Maybe you need to report it on that level.