Wife has BPD- I am emotionally spent and scared for her

[VelvetElvis]

My wife has attempted escape/suicide twice in the past 18 months.  Tried for the 2nd time last week and I took her to the emergency room and she was admitted to a mental health section of the hospital.  She was there for 3 days and released.

I am emotionally spent for the most part.  Don't know that I want to deal with the roller coaster our marriage has been for the past 4 years.  She is co-dependent, angry at times, verbally abusive at times,  super sweet most of the time to the point of overdoing it and I feel it isn't real.  I came hear to see if others are experiencing the same things I am.

We have an appointment with a therapist in 2 days.  We have met with a Therapist before for about 10 sessions but the cycle continues.  I feel like I am just setting myself up for more pain and a less than full life.  We have no children together- but both have children from a previous marriage.  This is her 4th marriage and my 2nd.  I was married for 12 years and divorced.  She was married for 3 months, 9 years and 9 years.

That's it for now.  I will search posts and look forward to hearing about your experiences.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[Mutt]

Hi VelvetElvis,

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can see how scary, lonely and emotionally exhausting all of this would feel for you. You don't have to go through this alone.

We're glad that you decided to join us. Many members here can relate with you and offer guidance and support. What type of therapy was she in? Are you seeing a T ( therapist ) for you?

How old are your kids? How are they doing?

[Chilibean13]

Welcome to the board. You will find so much support here. The emotional trauma and constant drama that we go through with our pwBPD really takes it's toll on us. I'm so sorry you had to go through your wife's suicide attempt. Sadly, that is one of the chracteristics of BPD. Hopefully counseling will be able to help. Has she actually been diagnosed as BPD? If so, how long ago?

One of the first things I had to learn when coming to this board was that I had to stop making it worse. That meant I needed to control my emotions and my reaction to my spouse. I had to learn not to get myself off kilter and instead learn to validate him. Please check out the lessons on the right side of the page. ---------------------> Start at the beginning and work your way through. There is a lot to take in.

Keep posting. Your wife may not ever get better, but you can. 

[walbsy7]

That is rough and I am sorry you had to go through that. My uBPDw has gone to a therapist, but also has bailed out last minute about as many times as she has actually went. It is a stressful thing for them and that can be a tipping point for a bad reaction. Just be careful and prepared if/when that happens. Hope for the best, it is about baby steps.