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Author Topic: Trying to relate to a spouse who has BPD for many years (undiagnosed)  (Read 360 times)
ittakes2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 1


« on: January 31, 2016, 06:01:15 PM »

Looking to improve a very difficult situation with a borderline spouse who would never willingly seek help.
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

sweetheart
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, together 11 years. Not living together since June 2017, but still in a relationship.
Posts: 1235



« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2016, 03:29:26 AM »

Hello ittakes2 and welcome to BPD family.   

There will be many if not all the members of this board who came here because they were wanting to improve their relationship with a pwBPD. You are in very good company.

We can help you with support, advice and guidance around the issues that arise out of loving someone with this illness.

I am going to include a link to some of the resources we have here that I find very helpful when I first came here, https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206. You can dip in and out of the information.

Can you tell us some more about you, your situation, does your spouse have a diagnosis of BPD? Who is there for support for you?
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2016, 04:20:04 AM »

 

One of the things we concentrate on here is what we can change, that is us. We need to consolidate our own part in this first of all. Hopefully any change in our pwBPD will come as a flow on effect.

We have to move away from thinking of "fixing" our partners. More towards smoothing the relationship dynamics

Waverider
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