Another issue is money. He needs to get some bills paid but has no money for that. I've promised to pay them with my credit card. I'm not sure if he's ever gonna pay me back but I feel I can't leave him in trouble.
Be careful of setting a precedent here. This can quickly become a standard coping mechanism for him to avoid being in trouble. Then when you ultimately say no then you will become the persecutor and all the help you have given will have no currency.
Hello Noel,
Sorry to hear about everything that you're going through and I know it can't be easy for you. I would echo what Waverider is telling you. One of the traits a BPD has is a lack of impulse control which would include out of control spending. My exBPD has tens of thousands of dollars in debt with no sign of paying them off anytime soon and continues to add to them. I almost paid them off if it wasn't for the sound guidance of this site. Waverider is correct, if you pay this off, then he'll expect you to do it time after time.
Since you're new here I would also encourage you to read the references at the top and to the right to learn even more about the Cluster B mental illness. i would also look for or ask your doctor about a very good therapist who is very educated in the studies of BPD to help you manage your feelings, emotions, thoughts and fears with your BPDbf.
You said, "Thank you all, writing here helps me understand my own feelings better." I would also explore with your therapist why you were originally attracted to your BPD. Chances are you're a codependent like a lot of us here and learning about why and how you became codependent will help you understand your own feelings better.
Come back here as often as you need too ... .everyone here is here to help you find the path you want to walk.
J