Changing your diet and exercise will help your relationship with your BPD

[Bpdsupporter]

I discovered this message board because I was so discouraged confused and felt alone in my relationship with my BPD mate. I was even more discouraged to read article after article that emphasis the turmoil and heartache that comes with dealing with this mental illness. This actually made me very angry at times. Where was the encouragement, where was the advice on how to support my loved on who is going through so much pain.

So my quest began... .and I must say that my relationship with my mate has improved tremendously because I had to change.

So I wanted to talk about changing my diet and self care. Most people change their diet to loose weight but if you are in a relationship with a BPD your gonna have to eat foods  and research supplement s that promote optimum mental health. And exercise.

Here are a few things that have helped me.

1. The five Tibetan Rites

Look it up on YouTube and Google. These five sacred moves promote an overwhelming sense of well being. They also make you look really good. It's often called the fountain of youth. They will give you more energy too. Your gonna need alot of energy when dealing with you BPD!

2.I take Inositol (viatimin B8). It really helps with anxiety and is a natural mood stabilizer. No side effects for me. But of course with anything check with you Dr. Also passionflower is great too. Calming teas like camamile should be on regular supply in your kitchen. Also try St John's wort for mild depression

3. Foods rich in omega fatty acids will help with your mental health. Fish, avacados, research this for sure!

4.Pumpkin seeds, figs, banannas. Keep these on deck!

5.Macca Powder is amaaaazing! It's expensive but this special root was used by Inca warriors before battles and gave them strength and increased acumen for battle.  I make a macca shake with penut butter almond milk honey and banana. It's yummy and gives alot if strength!

6.Ginger... .I eat a piece of raw ginger every morning with honey. Gets the digestive system going and has loads of other benefits. Research this.

This is just a short list... I'm sure there are more foods supplements and exercises that help promote good mental health.

Oh I highly encourage you to direct your BPD to change change their diet too. If you can. My BPD was actually the one who told me about most of these things. He says they help him alot. He always has a bag of pumpkin seeds on him . He loves them.

Also no drugs alcohol or caffeine tabacci. I know it's hard but if you are going to be in a relationship with a BPD your gonna have to be as sober as possible. If your struggling seek AA and professional help. Giving up marijuana was hard for me I used it alot to diffuse many of the trials I went through with my BPD. Its not good though in the end and led to more anxiety and emotional confusion which would lead to more smoking. So I highly encourage you to be sober! Your gonna need alot of strength physically to deal with your BPD.

I'd love to hear more from y'all too. If there are other foods and e exercises you have used to help your mental and emotional health.

Peace!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Bpdsupporter]

Also one more thing. Sleep is soo important. Try to get 8hrs if you can every night. Encourage your BPD to do this as well. Also encourage them to take naps to. All that emotional dysregulation is exhausting for them. Regular short naps helps my mate alot! Peace.

[JohnLove]

Hello Bpdsupporter, I agree with much of your recommendations. Many of these are mainstream alternative health ideas and there is so much more you can do.

Sleep is extremely important. It is when we grow and when we heal. Serotonin release only happens after hours of deep sleep. Same with human growth hormone. 8 hours is the current mainstream medical recommendation. It is hardly enough. Sleep advocates are recommending a minimum of 10 for optimal health and well being... .and even up to 12 for it's restorative benefits. That is 50% more than current "guidelines".

Healthy body. Healthy mind is not just a catchphrase.

I like your style.  

[waverider]

A change in lifestyle comes hand in hand with a change in mindset. In effect a personality change, and that is what you need to do to adapt without resentment. It is a holistic thing.

Otherwise you just feel like you are making compromises.

[Bpdsupporter]

Yes mental health is not given enough importance in general. A healthy mind promotes a healthy life. In our relationships not just with our very amazing loved ones with BPD a very real mental illness our mental emotional spiritual and physical health have to be a priority. Or your right we will compromise and burn out and suffer. It doesn't have to be like this. So I'm a big advocate of changing what I can and the only thing I can change is myself.

I love my BPD man very much and I knew if I was to be with him I have to get myself in a healthy place.

I feel so amazing and I feel better equipped to face the trials that will come up in this relationship. And it's really helping him too. He's actually told me he's noticed I'm different and is feeling so much better about our relationship. So I'm just gonna keep at it!

[waitingwife]

I have started regularly exercising 5 days a week for the last 3 years... .I was in a kind of depression and surrendered state for about 3 years coz we had our first baby and my imagination of a fairytale life came shattering down until I realized that happiness is subjective and I meed to find my own happiness & purpose in lite in order to find it within my r/s and marriage. I give all credit to my BPDH to motovate me to join a gym and sometimes when I do strength & weights group class, I can actually feel the negativity/unburned energy evaporate and make a healthy space for more rational thinking in my mind. Also I took up a new sport to learn and that is swimming... .I had water phobia and I was at my rock bottom... .So I started therapy and therapy lead me to detangle my mind and take up swim lessons... .And I did learn to swim coz I really stepped out of my comfort zone of accepting that I won't be courageous enough to face my fears and that empowered me... Then the gym... .That Lead to meeting people and making new friends and I have a new best friend coz midlife is hard to make good buddies... .

Learning something new can stimulate our brain to a new level... .Of course logistics have to work but it's worth making that time and connecting with ourself... .I felt like falling in love with myself all over again and BPDH noticed that... Things are way better between us... Does he still dysreguate? Hell ya but he is able to recognize his triggers & meditates very regularly twice a day and is able to get a better handle over his dysregulations!

[adventurer]

Even though I've encouraged my wife to come to the gym with me, she will rarely do so.  She likes that I'm in better shape, but is sometimes triggered by my absences from the home when I go over there.  She will be very silent and withdrawn when I return and sometimes try to pick a fight, but I don't take the bait and she will usually come around after a little while.  Exercise has been an emotional game changer for me though, I do so much better when I am regularly working out.  I don't enjoy the exercise but like the results.

A couple years ago I moved to a more low-carb paleo type of diet.  It was a huge power struggle for about a week or so.  My wife raged that I didn't want to eat certain things any more.  Part of it I think is her enmeshment, she can't stand to see me doing something different that she doesn't agree with.  She told me my diet was unhealthy, extreme and I was setting myself up for failure.  Part of it was also tied into abandonment fear - that cooking and sharing meals together is a big part of our relationship.  Even when I used logic to try to assure her that we could still cook meals together, I would just leave the bread or rice off my plate, she was still emotionally upset.

I quit trying to justify myself, didn't give into arguing and stuck to my guns and she eventually came to understand everything would be ok.  Then, a few months later her acupuncturist/nutritionist put her on almost the exact same diet, and suddenly it was the greatest thing ever and everyone else is an idiot for not eating the way we do.