My new approach

[adaw]

Boundaries need to be maintained and not to budge. she became her usual criticizing and abusive persona and i looked her in the eyes and said you just cannot grasp that i will not tolerate your abuse anymore. i might have before but i will not any more. she got angry and started mocking me like a 5 year old i made her tea and said calm down or go for a ride. she asked me for money and i said sorry the money we have is for food and gas. if she wants to go gamble she can go ask her friends for money. i am not going to pussyfoot around her lies and issues anymore. i then hugged her and went back to write my novel. i also have a TV interview tomorrow and she said i want to correct your mistakes you made as i have more linguistic prowess than you. i told her to get lost i am a published author. i have been in front of cameras as an actor i am sure i have more credibility than her. that didnt go down well either. she tries to control my looks my dresscode, my behavior and she gets ignored every time. i know its fuel to the fire but i will rather play fireman than be belittled. 

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[C.Stein]

So do you think the hardline stance is going to work out?  Is it causing more conflict than normal?

[adaw]

i would not recommend it for everyone, but in my case it is working. she is used to push over and manipulative people  and finding me opposing her together with the therapy she is receiving is a new venture for her. i withdraw when she gets out of hand

[waverider]

The boundaries are fine. Though the comparison of abilities is probably counter productive. That would have been better if you said that you were confident in your own abilities to make that call, without putting down her opinion.

Hard line needs to be about you, not them.

Counter sniping undermines your moral high ground.