What to do when she wont see the kids?

[KaishaMikasa]

I have a question regarding co-parenting?  My stbxw had the kids while I was out of town on a business trip for 4 days. During that time she sent them to my house to play and just let them sleep at her place.  Now don't get me wrong my oldest is 17 and can drive but then she was supposed to go to dinner with them this week and cancelled?  So my question is do I encourage them to see her or stay out of the matter.  I think the oldest Was bothered by it but not my youngest.

[Turkish]

It's not your job to show (parent?) the kids' mother to be a good parent. In my situation, I walk a fine line here, but it's only when my Ex asks me things on occasion. Focus on how the kids feel.

Did you talk to your 17yo about it, or was it something you were hesitant to engage?

[hope2727]

Keep excellent records with all the time and date stamps you can. Then do nothing else. If you ever come to heads over custody you will have evidence of poor parenting choices. She is an adult. Her actions have consequences.

[KaishaMikasa]

I have not gone into detailed conversations with my 17 yr old about it.  I have told him that she may be busy or maybe she isn't feeling well.  He said he just thinks its sad.  The youngest seems to be fine with everything but does dread going over there sometimes.  I am keeping records but honestly I don't think she will every ask for more time.  I do think they need to see her and keep a relationship with her as long as she is not causing them stress.