Waiting for an order and bombarded with emails...tired

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

First things first. We need to take care of what's important at this time. Coparenting. You're making stuff up so daughter can't even see her dad unless you're in full control. We need to take care of that and also I would like daughter to enjoy her childhood to the fullest. She has always been a quick and efficient learner and will continue. At this time I would like to work on getting her well rounded time with both parents without it being a one way street. I would like it if you weren't all over the place with everything. It's not in daughter's best interest as it is in your best interest.

There will be no more one way decision making. No more going against court order. You filed paperwork... It's time to deal with that. You have been doing this since day one and I will put it all forward in regards to get daughter back on track with both parents. I will put the truth forward on everything that has gone on so daughter doesn't have to go without. daughter comes first. All children come first. Thank you.

These are things we need to get with a third party and go over and by a third party it will be a neutral person not your mother... You created this and not a better time to deal with it. I have to address the court as I'm not comfortable at all with all fictitious accusations that I am clearing up and putting the truth forward. That's what needs to be done now. Like I said, I am going to address all of your concerns and put forward the truth so daughter can have what she needs in life. She has two parents and I am beside myself with your actions. Children come first.

Let her enjoy both parents while being a child. She needs both parents. daughter's life with her dad has stopped due to your accusations and actions. It is important that we get that taken care of rather than runaway from what's going on. Children come first. Thank you.

You are using her... .Wow, I love her and enjoy time with her. You have always explained how she is to everyone else and taking all credit for it. You my friend, mother to our child have a lot to learn. Children come first. Not yourself. Your pattern is all over the board. You make me sick but I will be there for daughter and daughter only. I have been used wrong. That is okay, I learn from it and move forward. You use our daughter, I am there for her all the way. Your games will eventually catch up with you and I feel for daughter. I am bringing the truth forward and get her back to a well rounded life. daughter comes first. Not what everybody thinks of you because of what she had learned from both of us.

All you do is try to make yourself the better person out of belittling everyone including myself. Very narcistic. I don't care for it but am willing to for the best in daughter. All you're about is you you you. It's obvious. There is nothing new with you and your ways. You believe you need to be in control and it has never done anything for you but cause conflict. I know exactly what I'm saying and mean what I'm saying. And, my proof reader(s) including myself know what I am saying. You're the only one that has issues with it. Once again it's a matter of you thinking you're better than everyone including myself. If that's what gets you through the day then so be it. No need to wish me a goodnight. Those will be here soon when rightfully so our daughter will be able to have quality time with her daddy. She deserves that and she has been wrongfully stripped of that. I will get that back for her.

I'm more interested in, as I look at this parenting plan once again, like to have her for my parenting time. She needs her daddy time as well. I don't see anything stating that you have her at all times. Do you realize that you're going under your own assumptions, making your own rules and alienating daughter from her daddy? Very one way decision. Do you realize you're not thinking about  It's really bothersome how you once again use the child as leverage. That is one of the sickest behaviors that, unfortunately, some parents do. Seeing it  with you and now with our daughter worries me for daughter in the future. I ask that you give it some thought for her.

I am not playing your games. I will deal with the court as you have no idea what you're doing. You can use my old texts against me but feeding your ego and agreeing with you so you don't flip out anymore has worked for the better and then you make a whole bunch of stuff up and file... .You're doing exactly what I said And for daughter's benefit I will change that for the best in her interests. Do you even read your stuff? It is all about you and your mom... Two of the most untrustworthy people I have ever met. True story. Read the emails from when I was up north which is 45 mins, not HOURS away and you will see your controlling behavior was once again an issue I avoided. It's not all about you and how well you parent. It's about the child so how about thinking with that personality until it sinks in.

And also you never went to friend's 's play so that was a said up and if needed I will have an affidavit filled to prove that. You work around your schedule and for what's best for you and not daughter. It's really obvious. Daughter knows exactly who I am as I have been there until you controlled her from me with your slippery tactics that I know so well. It was just a matter of time and I promise as I have recently that she will be back to normalcy once I straighten this whole mess up and I will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Something to think about. You're a very confused and delusional thinker and it is catching up with you.

Just think of much more she would've learned with two patents in her life the last couple of months. That one my friend is on you and your games. It's very obvious what you're doing and it's not going to fly. I don't give up and I have always been right here for daughter. You have chosen to make foolish assumptions and accusations and excuses to keep her from her daddy. I await putting that forward so she can have the life she deserves. Hopefully you will agree someday.

(I had to notify him of an upcoming Dr appt)

Thank you. I will grab the doctors notes. I didn't think it was wise to sit in the same room as you without a witness while waiting for the doctor, with your recent actions. I will also let them know what is going  on.

I know what is quite normal. I would also like for us to talk about scheduling. It is not your job to out parent me it is our job to schedule things according to what each of has going. I will bring that up at court as well. Obviously you haven't got that memo yet. Coparenting. I have reached out to mediator to discuss mediation. I am waiting on the ruling and then for daughter's and only daughter's benefit I will put forward a parenting plan that suits her needs in life. None of this one way stuff.

I, myself will put forward to you any unnecessary activity so it doesn't happen again. That's the parent in me. But yes I will deal with the court seeings how you snuck that one in there. Thank you.

Give it up rarsweet. Your behavior is hurting our daughter but you wouldn't see that cause you're all about you.  daughter deserves to share that with her daddy without (mumma standing over daddy's shoulder),which you are unable to understand as you don't understand how to fully co parent. You're putting on a nice show for yourself. I have fed your ego, I have been straight forward with you and you are so stuck on yourself it makes me wonder if you actually know what you're doing to our daughter by your recent actions that stem over from actions before. Shows you will never get it... You make no sense...

I want to see daughter and that is that. If you don't want to follow court order than we will go from there. Thank you and please no more emails unless you understand that is it not all about you and what you want. Children come first.

I am moving forward from the games. I don't want another email from you unless it is about daughter and a time I can rightfully so see her. I'm done being played with. I'm sure our little is experiencing some of this on your behalf. I'm not happy whatsoever. Again, do not email me unless you have a time to see her without games. Poor daughter... .

[rarsweet]

First things first. We need to take care of what's important at this time. Coparenting. You're making stuff up so daughter can't even see her dad unless you're in full control. We need to take care of that and also I would like daughter to enjoy her childhood to the fullest. She has always been a quick and efficient learner and will continue. At this time I would like to work on getting her well rounded time with both parents without it being a one way street. I would like it if you weren't all over the place with everything. It's not in daughter's best interest as it is in your best interest.

There will be no more one way decision making. No more going against court order. You filed paperwork... It's time to deal with that. You have been doing this since day one and I will put it all forward in regards to get daughter back on track with both parents. I will put the truth forward on everything that has gone on so daughter doesn't have to go without. daughter comes first. All children come first. Thank you.

These are things we need to get with a third party and go over and by a third party it will be a neutral person not your mother... You created this and not a better time to deal with it. I have to address the court as I'm not comfortable at all with all fictitious accusations that I am clearing up and putting the truth forward. That's what needs to be done now. Like I said, I am going to address all of your concerns and put forward the truth so daughter can have what she needs in life. She has two parents and I am beside myself with your actions. Children come first.

Let her enjoy both parents while being a child. She needs both parents. daughter's life with her dad has stopped due to your accusations and actions. It is important that we get that taken care of rather than runaway from what's going on. Children come first. Thank you.

You are using her... .Wow, I love her and enjoy time with her. You have always explained how she is to everyone else and taking all credit for it. You my friend, mother to our child have a lot to learn. Children come first. Not yourself. Your pattern is all over the board. You make me sick but I will be there for daughter and daughter only. I have been used wrong. That is okay, I learn from it and move forward. You use our daughter, I am there for her all the way. Your games will eventually catch up with you and I feel for daughter. I am bringing the truth forward and get her back to a well rounded life. daughter comes first. Not what everybody thinks of you because of what she had learned from both of us.

All you do is try to make yourself the better person out of belittling everyone including myself. Very narcistic. I don't care for it but am willing to for the best in daughter. All you're about is you you you. It's obvious. There is nothing new with you and your ways. You believe you need to be in control and it has never done anything for you but cause conflict. I know exactly what I'm saying and mean what I'm saying. And, my proof reader(s) including myself know what I am saying. You're the only one that has issues with it. Once again it's a matter of you thinking you're better than everyone including myself. If that's what gets you through the day then so be it. No need to wish me a goodnight. Those will be here soon when rightfully so our daughter will be able to have quality time with her daddy. She deserves that and she has been wrongfully stripped of that. I will get that back for her.

I'm more interested in, as I look at this parenting plan once again, like to have her for my parenting time. She needs her daddy time as well. I don't see anything stating that you have her at all times. Do you realize that you're going under your own assumptions, making your own rules and alienating daughter from her daddy? Very one way decision. Do you realize you're not thinking about  It's really bothersome how you once again use the child as leverage. That is one of the sickest behaviors that, unfortunately, some parents do. Seeing it  with you and now with our daughter worries me for daughter in the future. I ask that you give it some thought for her.

I am not playing your games. I will deal with the court as you have no idea what you're doing. You can use my old texts against me but feeding your ego and agreeing with you so you don't flip out anymore has worked for the better and then you make a whole bunch of stuff up and file... .You're doing exactly what I said And for daughter's benefit I will change that for the best in her interests. Do you even read your stuff? It is all about you and your mom... Two of the most untrustworthy people I have ever met. True story. Read the emails from when I was up north which is 45 mins, not HOURS away and you will see your controlling behavior was once again an issue I avoided. It's not all about you and how well you parent. It's about the child so how about thinking with that personality until it sinks in.

And also you never went to friend's 's play so that was a said up and if needed I will have an affidavit filled to prove that. You work around your schedule and for what's best for you and not daughter. It's really obvious. Daughter knows exactly who I am as I have been there until you controlled her from me with your slippery tactics that I know so well. It was just a matter of time and I promise as I have recently that she will be back to normalcy once I straighten this whole mess up and I will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Something to think about. You're a very confused and delusional thinker and it is catching up with you.

Just think of much more she would've learned with two patents in her life the last couple of months. That one my friend is on you and your games. It's very obvious what you're doing and it's not going to fly. I don't give up and I have always been right here for daughter. You have chosen to make foolish assumptions and accusations and excuses to keep her from her daddy. I await putting that forward so she can have the life she deserves. Hopefully you will agree someday.

(I had to notify him of an upcoming Dr appt)

Thank you. I will grab the doctors notes. I didn't think it was wise to sit in the same room as you without a witness while waiting for the doctor, with your recent actions. I will also let them know what is going  on.

I know what is quite normal. I would also like for us to talk about scheduling. It is not your job to out parent me it is our job to schedule things according to what each of has going. I will bring that up at court as well. Obviously you haven't got that memo yet. Coparenting. I have reached out to mediator to discuss mediation. I am waiting on the ruling and then for daughter's and only daughter's benefit I will put forward a parenting plan that suits her needs in life. None of this one way stuff.

I, myself will put forward to you any unnecessary activity so it doesn't happen again. That's the parent in me. But yes I will deal with the court seeings how you snuck that one in there. Thank you.

Give it up rarsweet. Your behavior is hurting our daughter but you wouldn't see that cause you're all about you.  daughter deserves to share that with her daddy without (mumma standing over daddy's shoulder),which you are unable to understand as you don't understand how to fully co parent. You're putting on a nice show for yourself. I have fed your ego, I have been straight forward with you and you are so stuck on yourself it makes me wonder if you actually know what you're doing to our daughter by your recent actions that stem over from actions before. Shows you will never get it... You make no sense...

I want to see daughter and that is that. If you don't want to follow court order than we will go from there. Thank you and please no more emails unless you understand that is it not all about you and what you want. Children come first.

I am moving forward from the games. I don't want another email from you unless it is about daughter and a time I can rightfully so see her. I'm done being played with. I'm sure our little is experiencing some of this on your behalf. I'm not happy whatsoever. Again, do not email me unless you have a time to see her without games. Poor daughter... .

[Turkish]

I can think of a choice BIFF response to all of that, based upon the history... .

Was this disturbing, or did you feel.angry, or frustrated that it's more of the same? He was already slapped down in court. Give enough rope... .

How has your daughter been doing?

[Panda39]

FOG! (Could be an Extinction Burst too) Don't buy it and don't respond to it there is nothing there to respond to. You and all of us here know about his parenting... .incompetent and often neglectful (when he shows up at all). 

Save what he has sent in case you need it later but continue down the path you are on for your daughter.

Hang in there,

Panda39

[david]

I would not respond but would save it for my atty and the judge.

Print out each email separately. That would make more of an impression. The amount of time spent typing them all clearly shows a problem.

[rarsweet]

       My problem is that I am reading the gibberish and trying to make actual sense of it. It's exhausting me and I know I should just ignore it. I am also constantly questioning everything I do too. Almost anything I do he says I am having a parenting competition or being narcissistic. Even making the Dean's List he says is me trying to showing him up. I don't quite understand it because something like me going to school has nothing to do with him. Really it doesn't. So it's like I am questioning myself about whether or not doing anything is good or bad. Like the children's center I have volunteered at nominated me to be on the Board of Directors. I accepted. Now he is saying that is a way he says I am competing with him. They have asked me to go in tomorrow with my daughter and have our pictures taken because they want to run a story on us. I went there for child development classes with daughter before I volunteered there. My La Leche group is also there. So basically they want to make us part of their spring PR campaign to improve parent participation in the area. I am scared that he will make another conflict out of that. Logically I know it's just crazy. Whatever I do good isn't a reflection of him doing bad, it's just not about him. But it's still hard when you are being bombarded with garbage all the time. It's almost like his argument is he wouldn't look so bad if I didn't do so good. Like it just isn't fair to him. He even whined to the judge that I was better at typing motions than him.( I went through a divorce before). I shouldn't have to lesson what I do to make him feel better.

   My daughter is doing very well considering. She is just as happy and content as it gets. I notice two things about her lately. Even at 20 months she is recognizing her life, her routine, and schedule. When she gets up in the morning she asks if gram is coming. When I come home for lunch(4 days a week) she asks if her other babysitter is coming. That babysitter comes for an hour after school. She will ask about breakfast, lunch,and dinner at the right times of day. When I tell her it's bathtime she will go looking for clothes, she knows we pick out jammies before getting in the bath. I love that she knows consistency. She doesn't worry about anything. She even knows to come get me if she wants to jump on the bed. Silly as that sounds, but it's a beautiful thing to have her come get me from doing dishes and tell me she wants to "show me" and drag me into her room to jump. I am so happy she has learned to not jump without someone and that she knows she can come get me and I will follow her, even if inside I am thinking I need to get dishes done.

    The other thing I notice lately is that she is calling other dads "dad". I know this is normal for some small kids, but it's hard to hear. She is only doing it to men that are actually dads and around their kids with her. Like she doesn't call any childless men we know dad. We ran into my former boss's son and his kids the other day. She was calling him dad. She calls the babysitter's dad "dad". I have just gently been trying to get her to use their names instead. I assume it's because she is hearing them called "dad" by their own kids.

       I have been trying to get her around more kids her size, doing singalong stuff at the community center, a bounce house here in town, stuff like that. She loves it.

   

[Turkish]

His whining about what you do is ridiculous and childish. Still,.I hear that you are frustrated about it. Do you harbor any doubts here about what you do as an independent woman and mother, that you are responsible for his feelings? Congratulations on all of that, by the way. Those are remarkable accomplishments, especially given the fact that you are effectively a single parent. Dealing with the stress of him goes without saying.

The kids' cousin also calls me ":)addy." His dad is a few states away since my Ex's sister came home after he knocked up another woman. He's only seen his dad once in person since she came back with their kid, who is a little younger than your daughter. I tried to correct him, "Call me Sir." I almost wish I had started my kids doing this, He still calls me Daddy. I gave up. (I also feel weird because these are my ex-laws).

He does it because my kids call me that. It's sad that babes can be more wise than adults in their innocence. It sounds like she is doing well overall, however. Does she ever ask about her dad specifically?

[rarsweet]

No, there was one time in February she said dad when she saw a vehicle the same as his. Otherwise she only says dad when other dads are around.