My partner, who I strongly suspect is living with BPD, had a little outburst last night. He went from fine to angry in a matter of seconds and got verbally out of control "at" me. He got angry at me and stated that we were going nowhere with this "stupid" relationship, and he hurled a few other insults at me. Rather than getting into it with him, I simply told him, "Hey, I love you. This isn't going to be a conversation that benefits us as individuals or as a couple, so I won't be responding to that." He continued on with more anger. I was actually deep down feeling the sting on some of the things he said, but I remembered about some of the things I have been reading up on, and I refused to try to argue or defend the irrational and hurtful things he was saying. I said one more time, "Obviously you're having a rough time tonight. I'm going to go to bed and hope tomorrow is a better day. I love you very much." I kissed him on the side of the cheek and went to sleep.
Woke up this morning and he didn't say much to me. But I got a text halfway through my work shift that stated:
"Hey babe . I'm not sure what my deal as last night, but I love you. And I am very sorry."
My partner NEVER just out of the blue apologizes like that. I usually have to wait until he's calm, remind him of the things he said or did, and then he apologizes. I dont know---this is exciting for me. It's just a small bit of clarity and progress, and my soul needed this today.
There is hope!
