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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Validation brings emotions down  (Read 362 times)
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 108


« on: April 14, 2016, 11:45:16 PM »

So one of the best books I've read on BPD is "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder" by Shari Manning. This book really helped revolutionize my relationship with my pwBPD.

She gives very practical tools that really work. Here is a video of her expounding on some of the tools.

I really like the point she made about how emotions can be like a thermometer. And that using validation skills can bring emotions down. So I tried it and it works so well. Whenever my pwBPD gets emotional I find that if i just validate his pain his emotions don't escalate. And if they do escalate I realize that I wasn't listening or i was ivalidating him. The results are that my partner and I  havent had a huge destructive anxiety inducing stressful episode in a while. Hes actually apologized and admitted his wrongs several times and took responsibilify for his actions without me having to push him at all.

Validation will curtail the big episodes. And it helped me understand him more. And he's just thriving and making better decisions on his own.

So when you get a chance get the book... its on Google play too so you can read it on your phone.

And watch the video too. Take notes and study because developing validation skills improved my relationship much. I use to be all scared and anxious when my partner would get dysregulated but now I actually get a little excited because I get to use these skills and see him get some much needed peace. But most importantly I get the peace I need and we get to enjoy each other much more. It's been an interesting journey.

https://youtu.be/Pstv6FZZlQw

www.amazon.com/Someone-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Control/dp/1593856075

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waverider
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Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
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If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2016, 02:02:41 AM »

Reviewed HERE

bpdfamily.com book review board HERE for anyone who hasn't browsed the books section
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