gfwBPD away on vacation

[burritoman]

My BPD girlfriend is overseas on a family vacation for another week and a half. As of today she's been gone a week. I spent most of last week with her, and when I drove her to the airport she couldn't have been more genuine and affectionate. She called me from the plane (before takeoff) with a very sweet and genuine "I love you." Now she has no cell reception, so we're limited to texting.  She was communicative during her waiting periods and layovers, but now that she's in the thick of the vacation her texts to me are short and monotone. She is also being very one-sided and hasn't once said "I love/miss you" or asked about how things are going on my end. Today for example she was in a hurry to get out and only texted me a couple of things (about her). Last night though she sent me a mirror selfie of her outfit (going to a wedding).

I respect that she's on vacation and her communication will be brief. I am not reaching out to her, but when she writes to me I am engaging. For the record, I suspect absolutely no foul play or infidelity here. She's simply caught up in the vacation.

It's only been a week, not much can change. However, it's causing me stress. She's causing me insecurity in thinking that she's changing, or will come back home and decide to leave me. These feelings I admit are grounded in nothing more than my insecurities and doubts, but those doubts are due to her behavior.

Is she like this because of her inherent selfish nature and one-sidedness? Or perhaps am I causing myself undue stress and thinking way too much into this? How can I last another week?

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[burritoman]

My BPD girlfriend is overseas on a family vacation for another week and a half. As of today she's been gone a week. I spent most of last week with her, and when I drove her to the airport she couldn't have been more genuine and affectionate. She called me from the plane (before takeoff) with a very sweet and genuine "I love you." Now she has no cell reception, so we're limited to texting.  She was communicative during her waiting periods and layovers, but now that she's in the thick of the vacation her texts to me are short and monotone. She is also being very one-sided and hasn't once said "I love/miss you" or asked about how things are going on my end. Today for example she was in a hurry to get out and only texted me a couple of things (about her). Last night though she sent me a mirror selfie of her outfit (going to a wedding).

I respect that she's on vacation and her communication will be brief. I am not reaching out to her, but when she writes to me I am engaging. For the record, I suspect absolutely no foul play or infidelity here. She's simply caught up in the vacation.

It's only been a week, not much can change. However, it's causing me stress. She's causing me insecurity in thinking that she's changing, or will come back home and decide to leave me. These feelings I admit are grounded in nothing more than my insecurities and doubts, but those doubts are due to her behavior.

Is she like this because of her inherent selfish nature and one-sidedness? Or perhaps am I causing myself undue stress and thinking way too much into this? How can I last another week?

[burritoman]

Oops. Please ignore/delete ^^this^^ quoted post.

[Grey Kitty]

There are two sides to this question... .

Is she like this because of her inherent selfish nature and one-sidedness? Or perhaps am I causing myself undue stress and thinking way too much into this?

Since she isn't telling you what this is about... .I think you are mostly driving yourself nuts wondering about it and overthinking it and fretting about it.

I'm not in a position to guess what she's thinking.

Have the two of you had had vacations or business trips or anything where you were separated for a couple weeks before? If so, how did they go?

How can I last another week?

Two suggestions:

1. Don't let yourself "explode" and text her with stuff about how upset you are now... .if you do, you are really likely to make sure that this is a relationship-injuring problem, when (so far) there is a good chance that it isn't.

When she returns, you may want to talk to her about how this had you feeling... .but if you can give her a warm loving welcome first, and put this talk off a couple days, I think it would be for the best.

2. Take good care of yourself while she's away.

Do things you enjoy. Get some exercise. Make sure you are eating well and sleeping well. Spend time with your friends or your family. Go fishing, read a good book, binge-watch something on Netflix. Whatever it is that makes you feel better, happier, and stronger.