Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 02:36:30 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: So desperate to engage  (Read 360 times)
sanemom
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1013



« on: April 26, 2016, 12:18:05 PM »

DH is very good about not engaging with BPD mom much, but it feels like she will do whatever she can to get him to meet with her.  Filing CPS reports is her most recent tactic, and I am pretty sure with this last one, she called the supervisor to suggest that we all have a sit-down family meeting (with her included)--the supervisor kept saying that we need to get these false allegations to stop, and she seemed to think that if we all sat down to have a chat, it would be rainbows and butterflies. 

Now I don't have proof that mom asked for this, but why would CPS be so up front about HER being the one filing these crazy accusations, and, on top of that, the investigator felt that BPD mom was very excited about the idea of a family meeting.

I don't get it--does she just want to have DH's attention?  Does she think she is going to woo him with her craziness?  When I told our attorney about the CPS proposal, he said, "No effing way.  Absolutely not."  Fortunately, after I told CPS that this game has been going on for years--they are just late to the party--they decided to drop their stupid idea of a "family meeting"
Logged
Thunderstruck
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 823



« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2016, 01:44:20 PM »

Yeah, have that family meeting... .just make sure it happens over there in family court. (Bring a pen to sign the CO!)  Smiling (click to insert in post)

I don't know, she probably feels like she lost her stronghold in family court and wants to find some more negative advocates. A "family meeting" with CPS would be a good opportunity for her to just accuse and blame. DH's head would be spinning from all the nonsense.

Oh, and she wanted to meet up with DH for SS's birthday too, right? Yeah, that's super weird!

uBPDbm has asked DH a handful of times to sit down with SD and have a family dinner. He has given her a resounding HECK NO. Um, after 3 false restraining orders... .no friggin way. Besides, if she is so "afraid" of him then why would she want to have dinner with him? 

I never know "why" uBPDbm does anything she does. DH says the answer is simple: she's sick.
Logged

"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nope
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: married
Posts: 951



« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2016, 06:25:37 AM »

Sounds like she is desperate for his attention. Also sounds like CPS was ready to coddle her by giving her exactly what she wanted in the hopes that would get this to stop. Stuff like that is a prime reason nobody trusts CPS. They don't seem to "get it" and if they aren't carefully guided and navigated they can wreck havoc on a family. Had BPDm found the CPS involvement effective in getting her that meeting she would have continued doing the one thing that worked to get more.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!