Exgf going to make my life hell

[JerryRG]

Just talked to my cousin who works in BK, said my exgf was with her mother a while back (months) and was telling her mom she was going to make my life a living hell. Um and this is something new? 4 years baby 4 years

What more could she do?

[drummerboy5]

My ex use to say the same thing to me before she went silent

[JerryRG]

I guess I hurt her feelings or something, I just hope she don't take her anger toward me out on our son.

[drummerboy5]

It was always easy to offend my ex or hurt her feelings even tho I never tried to. Normal convo could set her into protect mode. The aftermath was always pretty nasty...

[JerryRG]

I had had enough and kindy   asked her to leave me alone. I was exausted of taking care of her and our son full time and getting 0 in return. My tank ran empty for many years sacrificing and waiting for her to "snap out of it".

She hasn't changed, and saying she wants peace is easy while in reality she wants my life to be hell. Actions are facts, not intentions.

Oh well, I dodged a bullet, I ain't no superman.

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned with BPD,

[drummerboy5]

I hate to say it,but the only time I get any relief is when my pregnant ex goes silent. I hate being shutout,but in all honesty it saves my sanity I agree with you about being a superman I was a superman plus an open atm machine. The manipulation to make me feel guilty and give into her was horrible.

[JerryRG]

My exgf went total ape when she was pregnant and had the perfect excuse to beat the heck out of me. Hormones

Or she used the hormone thing to lower her shields and hit me full phasers! (Star Trek junkie)

If the police would have seen her doing this she would have had a hormone party in a cold cell.

She was arrested one time when I asked her to leave and she wouldn't and took my cell phone from me and I managed a 911 call on my home phone. I just asked her to leave but the police filed the charge of obstructing a 911 call. $450 fine and a night in jail.

Red flag? The funny thing was they gave her a blood test and she called from jail saying she was pregnant, neither of us let it sink in until she did the test strips.

Oh the fond memories... . 

[gotbushels]

If the police would have seen her doing this she would have had a hormone party in a cold cell.

LOL great image.

She was arrested one time when I asked her to leave and she wouldn't and took my cell phone from me and I managed a 911 call on my home phone. I just asked her to leave but the police filed the charge of obstructing a 911 call. $450 fine and a night in jail.

Red flag? The funny thing was they gave her a blood test and she called from jail saying she was pregnant, neither of us let it sink in until she did the test strips.

Oh the fond memories... . 

Please can I just clarify: did she find out from the blood test in jail?

[JerryRG]

The police took a blood sample I'm not sure it's mandatory or routine, she found out then but we both didn't think anything about it. She told me she couldn't have children, 3 OGBYN specialist confirmed it, (lies?) I know I should not have believed a single word but I did.

[gotbushels]

Wow that is some story. That's probably the worst place to find out about a pregnancy. Wow. I shall be stunned when I think of this from time to time. My sympathies to you Jerry:)

That she had 3 OBGYNs give her inaccurate conclusions is troubling to me. If it was indeed a lie on her part, what does that indicate?

[JerryRG]

She says our baby is a miracle but I'm prone to believe she was lying, since she really has a difficult time telling the truth.

Redundant phrase huh? Lol and I wonder why my head is in constant turmoil when I think about these events and my exgf.

[gotbushels]

Redundant phrase huh? Lol and I wonder why my head is in constant turmoil when I think about these events and my exgf.

Sorry crappy sentence. I meant:

It troubles me that she had 3 OBGYNs give her inaccurate conclusions. If it was indeed a lie on her part, what does that indicate?

[JerryRG]

She wanted to get pregnant

[gotbushels]

That's what I thought too, though the lengths that she was willing to lie are interesting. Does that make you feel anything? I'm curious of your reaction, I've already mentioned that it troubles me. If you've already discussed it could you please link the thread? Thanks JerryRG:)

[JerryRG]

Hello gotbushels

I'm not sure I've thought much about her intentionally getting pregnant, one thing I did find strange was she told someone "when she got pregnant... ." this occured during the time of her telling me she wasn't able to get pregnant.

I do need to look into this more deeply

Thanks again gotbushels

[gotbushels]

Sure:) it's my pleasure too. I hope it results in something worthwhile for you.

[JerryRG]

I wonder if this is why she hates me now, I kicked her out of my life last Nov, she's been ramping up her smear campaign against me.

She said she loved me and wanted a family, I just couldn't endure her lies and accusations and disrespect of herself, others and me.

[drummerboy5]

I think that's why my ex hates me is because she had plans, the pregnancy, getting married and a house, but I left due to the stress... I think my ex might have planned the baby but I'm not sure

[gotbushels]

Well, I know we don't live in a perfect society, and your thoughts may be correct as to why she is angry at you, but is one partner lying to another--to a high degree--in order to have the man impregnate the woman a good way to start a family? Is marriage under the urgency of an "accidental" or "unplanned" pregnancy something desirable or healthy? What kind of life is the child going to have? What lifetime pressure is that going to put on the husband, in addition to the heavy burden of care-taking the pwBPD traits? What about the deeper pain from the usage of a child as a weapon against the non? There is no undo button for babies, neither is going to the abortion clinic the same as a trip to the grocery store in a normal neighbourhood.

[JerryRG]

Amen gotbushels

Thank you

[drummerboy5]

Well, I know we don't live in a perfect society, and your thoughts may be correct as to why she is angry at you, but is one partner lying to another--to a high degree--in order to have the man impregnate the woman a good way to start a family? Is marriage under the urgency of an "accidental" or "unplanned" pregnancy something desirable or healthy? What kind of life is the child going to have? What lifetime pressure is that going to put on the husband, in addition to the heavy burden of care-taking the pwBPD traits? What about the deeper pain from the usage of a child as a weapon against the non? There is no undo button for babies, neither is going to the abortion clinic the same as a trip to the grocery store in a normal neighbourhood.

The baby can not be undone wether it was planned or not. So the best option for people like us is to be the best fathers we can and detach from the mother all tho easier said than done. Our childeren need a stable person in their life... I'm not going back to my exBPD/npd but I will fight for my child to have a healthy normal as possible life...

[JerryRG]

I agree drummerboy5

I have avoided my son out of fear of his mother, her accusation of rape and that I abused my son. I need to put her where she belongs, pathetic child who hates herself and she's willing to harm anyone who gets her upset.

I'm getting stronger, going on 4 weeks since I learned of the rape accusation, that caught me off guard even though it probably should not have. I've never had to deal with someone this mentally ill other than maybe my parents

[drummerboy5]

Rape  accusations  just blows my mind! Being in therapy and now having this forum is making me thinking differently. Yes I'm hurt, confused and I'm having a child out of wed lock, but I'm going to concentrate on the positives from now on. I will have another beautiful daughter in a few months and no matter if planned or not that little girl is apart of me.

I don't care two craps about what her mother has done to me from now on, but I will do everything in my power to make sure my ex doesn't bring our child down.  My lil girl is going to need stability in her life and I'm going to be her rock!

Detach with love is now my new way of life towards my exBPD/npd. I refuse to let her control my emotions any longer.

Papa bear is in full effect now!

[gotbushels]

Be healthy and rested guys:) If you have responsibility for a life then may you be even more so. A child getting born to a mother with BPD's black hole can't be pleasant for the child. It's not like the child can choose to say no either.

[drummerboy5]

Be healthy and rested guys:) If you have responsibility for a life then may you be even more so. A child getting born to a mother with BPD's black hole can't be pleasant for the child. It's not like the child can choose to say no either.

I agree.