Silent Treatment

[louieb]

Help appreciated from anyone... I am in a relationship with a guy for the last 1.5 years... which is also a long distance relationship. I have noticed that he cannot accept blame or the slightest little bit of criticism. Its a little one sided in the fact that i always have to go to his place, which i don't mind cos i understand he has bought a new property (hobby farm) 100 acres and he always has so much to do there maintenance etc. My problem today which is driving me mad is that he is completely ignoring me and not acknowledging anything i say... I picked up on him not answering one of my texts and said it was hurtful due to the fact i have been sick with sinus infection. How do you handle this type of behaviour , i find it to be extremely hurtful and disrespectful and told him so... we only have text messaging as a form of communication anyway. He is not answering any text messages at all. I don't know what to do here. I have never had a relationship with anyone that has shown this behaviour. I tried asking him how long he was going to keep punishing me with his silence and he disregarded it and answered with i am who i am and the 300 kms is never gonna change ... Its all just hurtful... I do love him cos obviously he can be super loving and a beautiful man... but this is his other side. Long distance i don't see much future if he is to keep this up... Do i message him again and ask him whats going on or should i leave it ... This all stemmed from me sending a text asking him why he couldn't be bothered to tap out a 2 min text after i told him i was going to the doctors... any help much appreciated

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi louieb and

silent treatment is at best frustrating, at worst very painful, and its a common reaction to keep pressing, or driving our point home, wanting acknowledgment and to be heard. sometimes our impulses hurt more than they help.

have you heard from him in the past couple of days?

[Grey Kitty]

  It is really horrible to get that treatment. It might help you to understand that others go through it, and that it really *IS* as bad as it feels. Consider this quote from the workshop below.

Verbal abuse, in general, is a means of maintaining control and Power Over. Verbal abuse is a violation, not a conflict. In describing verbal abuse it is a boundary violation, it is an intrusion upon another, or disregard of another in a relentless pursuit of Power Over, superiority and dominance by covert or overt means.

Silence a.k.a. Withholding is the most damaging and hurtful form of verbal abuse. One might think that in order for the behavior to be considered verbal abusive words need to be spoken. This misunderstanding of verbal abuse adds to the recipient’s confusion within the relationship.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Silent treatment - verbal abuse.