lies

[adaw]

i do not know what to do about all the lies. my BPD is a pathological liar. she denies in public that we are in a relationship. she tells she has a managerial position abroad. she tells them that she lives in a rented house elsewhere and that i am looking after her property while she is gone. i told her i will not partake in her lies. she tells friends in front in front of me how she went out on dates while i was working away from home. when i refuse to lie for her she tells me i am being a drama queen. she even told some of her male friends that i am homosexual. i know it is embarrassing for her when i expose her lies but i told her more than once that i will not partake in her games. she told me that her late husband who cheated on her more than once, drank and gambled would never embarrass her in public like i do.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Herodias]

I used to freeze up when I was confronted with his lies... .I would get angry after we got away from whomever he was lying to. If it was a Doctor- I always told the doctor the truth, but they just thought I was a controlling wife. I would not want to tell the truth to his co-workers because I didn't want him to lose his job. His current gf flat out lies for him! I am not shocked by this, because she is a little off as well. I am impressed you flat out won't cover for her... .but in her eyes it is embarrassing and for some reason she cannot stop. Not sure she will be able to unless she works at it. It will be a constant battle it seems. Do you want to continue to be with someone who lies? I hated it... .I can't lie if I were to try. It's awful to never know if someone is telling the truth-ever.

[waverider]

I dont bother trying to correct, as that just drags me in. but I refuse to validate or cover up a lie. The real issue is i tend to just loose interest in anything my wife has to say, even the truth. So I tend to walk away before my attitude starts to go down hill.

If it is compulsive lying they can't help themselves, and probably hate it as much as you, but they are trapped in the cycle. It is quite sad really.