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Author Topic: The trap of over analysis  (Read 448 times)
waverider
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If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« on: June 04, 2016, 06:29:21 PM »

www.lipglossandhighheels.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/woman-vs-man.jpg

Sometimes its better to not think too hard Smiling (click to insert in post)
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C.Stein
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2016, 09:50:01 PM »


This is true.  I can sometimes fall into the over-analysis trap, especially when I feel I have to "read between the lines" to truly understand what is going on.  It can lead you into a very dark place if you are not careful.  Thankfully I can usually recognize it and pull myself back before I end up like that woman did.   Smiling (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2016, 09:56:51 PM »

Word! Lol

https://youtu.be/KqOBBhRpnxE

Seriously guilty of this Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)!
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« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2016, 04:04:55 AM »

Ha   Being cool (click to insert in post)

This made me laugh but it also made me think that she might have some abandonment issues.

It's can be all to easy to project your own fears and anxiety on to someone else's behaviour - I certainly have a tendency to do this. Throw in a PD and you can end up in the middle of a perfect storm.

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waverider
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If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2016, 06:29:10 AM »

The moral is that by keeping it simple you dont end up having such a crappy day stressing, no matter what the real story is.

She had no idea what the real problem was as he never told her, she was just making assumptions with really no means of guessing correctly.

The abandonment issue is important too, we have to get over catastrophizing ourselves and accept what will be, will be, that is the foundation of radical acceptance, some issues we will never know, we dont need to dig our own holes.
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« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2016, 07:34:06 AM »

Thanks for this - very amusing and it's a great reminder. My partner tends to overanalyze everything. The trap for me is overanalyzing her overanalyzing.

I need to accept it's just a thing she does, and leave her to work through it herself. 

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« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2016, 11:00:12 AM »

Perhaps he should have communicated his reason to her and not left everything so ambiguous and then the problem would have been averted.  Open honest communication.  Why cause all the needless worry and guess work?  If she is asking about how youre feeling just tell her!  IMHO he is torturing her, no doubt he knows she is the type who analyses so he should have just told her straight up... .sweetie I'm confused as to why my motorcycle won't start... .  Easy and problem solved.
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waverider
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« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2016, 06:30:29 PM »

Perhaps he should have communicated his reason to her and not left everything so ambiguous and then the problem would have been averted.  Open honest communication.  Why cause all the needless worry and guess work?  If she is asking about how youre feeling just tell her!  IMHO he is torturing her, no doubt he knows she is the type who analyses so he should have just told her straight up... .sweetie I'm confused as to why my motorcycle won't start... .  Easy and problem solved.

Correct it is miscommunication, but this is in itself is a lesser problem than she allowed it to build into. Often your pwBPD is simply likewise self focused on some all consuming issue, and that can send us into psychoanalyzing mode,. Not everything can be blamed on BPD.

I am not saying which one of these characters represents the pwBPD, as it can be applicable to either. Either can be guilty of catastrophizing miscommunication.

Open and honest communication can often be a casualty in relationships where fear of overreaction exists. This lack of easy openness can too easily become an avenue we use to project our own thoughts and fears onto others.
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