4th time in the same relationship... And imploding. Even though I know it's BPD

[Michael1924]

I know what's going on. The BPD light came on after hours of research during the 2nd go around. Back again and again. Now it's the 4th time. I'm absolutely exhausted. I've read every word on this site and others and books. This 4th time the same relationship is long distance 3-4 hrs. Talk about the cycle of abandonment! How do I share with her what I know? I sit and think, if she would just log on here... .Efforts to explain BPD during 2nd go around resulted in livid rage. I'm to the point that I don't care really. Just want her to get help and insight. I know how awful it must be for her to live this way. Also add a healthy dose of ADHD (Adderall) and she has a double whammy. I get the results of both. BPD and all the ADHD chaos. It's like dating Marilyn Monroe.  Head is ready to explode. Yet I still love her. Funny how this post reads like a classic... .I'm sure you heads are all nodding up and down and left and right.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Raspberry]

I've got nothing insightful to say unfortunately as I'm new to all this myself but wanted you to know that you're not alone x

[Mutt]

Michael1924,



I'd like to join raspberry and welcome you. I can relate with the push / pull behavior with a pwBPD can feel like crazy making behavior to the non-disordered partner.

It didn't go well when I told my exBPDw that she has BPD. BPD carries a heavy stigma today, some people think that it's not treatable, it is a severe mental disorder and the most difficult within the personality disorders but it is treatable. We would have to ask ourselves how that would feel if someone told you you suffered from a severe mental illness?  Her reality is as real to her as your reality is to you. That said, depression and anxiety don't carry a similar stigma and is widely accepted by society. How about saying something like you think that she may suffer from anxiety and depression to get her into therapy? She has to want to get help for herself and committed with doing her homework. Have you read this article on our site?

Borderline Personality Disorder Therapy - Is Your Loved One Serious?

I'm glad that you decided to sign-up after lurking. You'll find that you'll fit in, many members share similar experiences and can offer you guidance and support. How are you doing? How is your support network with family and friends? What do you like to do for self care? I like lifting weights. Hang in there.


~Mutt