Hi ACEFAM,
Welcome and hello
Living with and loving someone with a mental illness is a challenge! And on top of that, you are raising a young child together. We are here to walk alongside you and be here when you need support.
This may be helpful:
Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder is challenging. Individuals having committed family support heal significantly faster and at higher rates than those isolated or on their own.
Being a caretaker of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder is complex and demanding, even self sacrificing, and it requires strength, love, realistic expectations, protecting your family, and preserving your own emotional health.
For the family, very little is intuitive, it takes specialized skills to support a loved one. According to Dr. John Gunderson, MD, it is important to allow them to fail in a loving way - to learn about reality. Defining and constructively enforcing limitations is important, too. Too often, people assume that the person with BPD should know and respect their limits as any other adult would. This is not a realistic assumption for people with this disorder. You set limits by stating them in advance and in clear, simple language.
You are intuitive about your son's needs, and trying to help him make sense of the baffling behavior he sees his dad exhibit. My son went through the same thing, and has what I could describe as a "sensitive genotype."
Your instinct to protect your son is a good one! When you see your son feel uncomfortable, how do you respond to him?
LnL
