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Author Topic: idealistic views failed  (Read 345 times)
confusedbloke
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 205


« on: June 20, 2016, 04:12:08 AM »

Hi All,

Ok you were right!

I am right at this moment being ignored... .all because I said I wasn't comfortable with her dog walking round my house while we were in the hottub. She let him out of his cage to wander round the house (I have a fear of dogs). She was drunk and started shouting and screaming again.  I asked her to leave and I said I was going out... . 

Weve had so many fallouts... .  I thought Id sussed it with her... .but evidently not... .

So whats the advice now... .I just cant be bothered with this, but am addicted... .  Nightmare

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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

C.Stein
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2360



« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2016, 11:35:53 AM »

Sorry to hear that CB.  It doesn't take long before the daily grind overrides the idealization.

What do you think is the main reason for your fallouts?

What can't you be bothered with and what are you addicted to?
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confusedbloke
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 205


« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2016, 08:00:12 PM »

Thanks CS.

The reasons for our fallouts are completely unknown.  Weve had 7 fallouts since we got back together... .6 of them were ones she started, and 1 of them I did.  I was so, so pissed off today.  I cannot stand the way she is with me when shes drunk. Its the same thing over and over.  Thing is I love being drunk with her but she doesn't know when to stop... .then she just turns nasty and I have to kick her out of the house coz I don't want that behaviour in my home.  And I even kick her out late at night when its dark as she winds me up that much.  And I feel terrible after.  But I cannot have her in my house being like that.  I told her today that everytime she kicks off with me, she's out the door, instantly. I just cant tolerate that nonsense anymore.  She could see in my eyes that I was serious.  I don't know if that's the right or wrong thing to do, but I made sure I was telling it like it is.

When I said I cant be bothered I was just peed off today... .Unbelievably.  End of tether type scenario... .Feel like ive totally vented now Smiling (click to insert in post)

And Im addicted to her... .I know she really is a mint lass, and I guess I will battle on, coz at the end of the day Im in love with her.  If I wasn't, I wouldn't be on this site I guess... .And I will win her round... .coz I think that I possibly wont give up

Cheers guys Smiling (click to insert in post)

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C.Stein
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2360



« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2016, 08:51:18 PM »

Maybe the solution here is to curtail the drinking?  Seems alcohol is leading to the issues on both sides.  Remove/reduce the catalyst and the immediate problem is resolved.

How do you see this as a potential solution?
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waverider
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
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If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2016, 02:19:12 AM »

Alcohol and personality disorders are like lighting a match in a fireworks factory. Things get out of hand pretty quick and our own inability to center things are impaired, meaning escalation to the point of explosion is inevitable.

I have given up drink myself, partly because when the fire alarm goes off i need to be on the ball.
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