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Author Topic: Confused about lesbian partner  (Read 413 times)
sewnles
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: June 20, 2016, 11:07:31 AM »

Hi , my partner recently told me she wanted to have sex with men because it made her feel more crappy through asss . she was raped and abused and used by men during college and in high school . i am so worried for her , she has mentioned suicide and even want to push me away . i fear for her . i know it is common , but is it my fault ? What can i do ?
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Naughty Nibbler
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727



« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2016, 07:38:18 PM »

 

Welcome Sewnles:

Sorry about the problems in your partner's past.  Has she had any therapy?

Has your partner mentioned suicide recently?

The information in the link below can be helpful when someone in your life deals with suicidal thoughts.  Every threat needs to be taken seriously

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf

Quote from: sewnles


she has mentioned suicide and even want to push me away . i fear for her. i fear for her . i know it is common , but is it my fault ? What can i do ?

It isn't your fault.  Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) are common for those with a BPD person in their life (pwBPD). The links below should be helpful.

FOG = Fear, Obligation and Guilt

   https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog

   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=82926.0

Can you give us some examples of other BPD type behavior your partner exhibits?  Perhaps it might help to discuss some other behavior problems and we can lead you to some specific tools to help.  In the meantime, the additional link below can be helpful.



COMMUNICATIONS OVERVIEW


https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0

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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12104


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2016, 11:53:41 PM »

Hi sewnles,

It must have been shocking to hear her say that,  especially so knowing her history of abuse.  How did you respond?

T.
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