never compromise

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

This is suppose to be my access weekend but my lawyer didn't send me my ex's vacation schedule so today I was blind sided when I couldn't get s9. Shame on my lawyer but shame on my ex. She booked her 3 weeks vacation over the summer in 3 different blocks. Starting on the Friday of my access weekend and ending on the Monday after her weekend. So I get 3 weekends with s9 this summer. I am seeking advice on what to do. I tried to explain i had no idea about her taking this weekend as part of her vacation. She is not going away, I made plans and told her but she will not budge. She hates my family and does everything in her power to keep s9 away from them. She is a heartless remorseless person. My mother is coming to visit this weekend and she took special requests from all the grandchildren. She is a fantastic baker and cook, so s9 requested a special cake. If I tell her my mom made a special cake for s9, she will say no and love it. I don't want to feed her. My T says don't give her the pleasure to say no. It would put s9 on the spot bc his mother will ask him if he was talking to nanny and he is very nervous to let her know he was talking to my family. She really has no reason to include my access weekend as her vacation other than the fact that it takes time away from me. She will have all next week and weekend with s9. Should I ask her to extend this weekend access to me for my family gathering and s9 special cake?

[bus boy]

This is suppose to be my access weekend but my lawyer didn't send me my ex's vacation schedule so today I was blind sided when I couldn't get s9. Shame on my lawyer but shame on my ex. She booked her 3 weeks vacation over the summer in 3 different blocks. Starting on the Friday of my access weekend and ending on the Monday after her weekend. So I get 3 weekends with s9 this summer. I am seeking advice on what to do. I tried to explain i had no idea about her taking this weekend as part of her vacation. She is not going away, I made plans and told her but she will not budge. She hates my family and does everything in her power to keep s9 away from them. She is a heartless remorseless person. My mother is coming to visit this weekend and she took special requests from all the grandchildren. She is a fantastic baker and cook, so s9 requested a special cake. If I tell her my mom made a special cake for s9, she will say no and love it. I don't want to feed her. My T says don't give her the pleasure to say no. It would put s9 on the spot bc his mother will ask him if he was talking to nanny and he is very nervous to let her know he was talking to my family. She really has no reason to include my access weekend as her vacation other than the fact that it takes time away from me. She will have all next week and weekend with s9. Should I ask her to extend this weekend access to me for my family gathering and s9 special cake?

[Lilyroze]

Wow busboy,

I am wondering if possible to email her so you have a record, that your Mother baked a special cake and would like to spend time with her grandson, as well as you. Could she have a compromise for this weekend due to it being hard enough on him ( your son) with this all?

I know you don't want to give her satisfaction with cake and certainly go with what you and T recommend. Just a shame that a compromise can't be worked out for the weekend and summer for the betterment of your son to see all involved and she can still enjoy her vacation.

Usually the court order is court order if your weekend that would be yours it usually is incumbent upon her to work it out with you. Did your lawyer agree to it or was it in court order she gets to choose?

[scraps66]

Careful, you may get what you want, but at a cost.  My BP plays gams with the vacations, arranges them so they consume my weekends.  Not with vacations, but any of the other situations, if I end up "getting" what I want, and ex doesn't, I can assume there will be punishment served.  It's the old "I can't win unless he loses," BP perspective. 

I don't think you'll get anywhere with asking, but I would ask intentionally to document an example.  If you don't have an Order, you should, and that Order should call out that neither parent should have more than two weekends in a row with the child.