Cut off and given the silent treatment.

[Samantha123]

Hello and thanks for any advice. I have been involved with a male very quite BPD for 3 months. Everything was going as smoothly as it could when suddenly in his FB I started noticing some triangulation, so in one of his posts I made a positive comment and I realized he and "his friend" commented back but since I wanted to not take further part of the triangulation I decided to not go into facebook for few hours until I thought of a good answer or strategy but it appeared he got impatient and felt rejected or perhaps abandoned I don't know exactly but when I tried to answer back I realized he had blocked me from his FB and instagram and deleted all comments from the triangulation and my last comments from Instagram which he had told me he loved very much, he also blocked the other participants of the triangulation; however he did not blocked me from his whats app at first, so I tried validation and he just kept online as if looking at me but no response, then next day I tried again to get him to talk to me, but I went a little too far as I was completely desperate, he had left a bit of a window open and instead I gave him some space NOO, I pressured him into trying to talk to me telling him I had all day, how stupid was I! so he blocked me from his whats app as well  I then from another FB account sent him another message asking him for an apology, that all I wanted was to get him to talk because it was killing me that he thought I was causing him any pain or frustration at all intentionally,  I assured him that it was not the case, that I was not mad and that I understood if he needed some time or space and that all I wanted is for him to keep his whats app open as it gave me some comfort to see him online and at least to know if he was ok, that I would not disturb him again, but to keep the whats app open as he initially intended, that it was all a misunderstanding. And that i was there for him, that i love him and miss him very much and that i hoped he felt better soon. He did read the message and again kept himself online as to stay in the moment but no reply. What am I supposed to do? Does this look as it is over for good? I read so much literature so confusing that sometimes the more they push you the more they want you to pull them back in and others say that they should be given some space. This is killing me also because I noticed he is having some hard time with people attacking him on FB not related to our issue, but I wish I could be there for him. I thought he was going to block that other account that I wrote him from, but he did not. And it was odd that the friend whom I made the comment on FB also blocked me as well in the beginning (which led me to believe that it was his own account a fake friend and that he felt rejected as himself and as "his friend" because I did not reply to the comments they both made to my original comment on his post, and when I asked him why would his friend block me as well? That I wanted to talk to him, then all of the sudden "the friend" unblocked me and was available right away to answer me at odd hours of the night but the friend said, i don't know what is going on, he blocked me as well. Any advice is highly appreciated. Thanks    

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Circle]

Welcome aboard, hang in there, and you found the right spot. I managed to get onto the computer tonight. So, I'm going to give you a link to another discussion dealing with 'The Silent Treatment', that is currently happening. I'm guessing it may have some relevance for you.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=296582.msg12786857#msg12786857

Sometimes, for me, facebook can just really cause confusion.

I think the above link will have some helpful solutions.

So glad you found us! Looking forward to seeing you around.

p.s. Just realized the link I give you, directs you to the middle of the discussion. You'll probably want to go back to the start of it.

[Samantha123]

Hi Circle thank you very much. I really appreciate the input. Really, thanks a lot.

[Meili]

How's it going Samantha123?

[Samantha123]

Hi Mieli! Thank you so much for asking. I am hanging in there by a thin thread. Still he has not contacted me. I feel so anxious. I think what bothers me the most is the uncertainty, if I knew we were done at least I could get some closure and get done with it try and move on. Honestly I feel sick about it.

[Meili]

I'm sorry that I've been away from the computer for a week and have taken so long to respond to you. How are things going now? Anything new?

I struggled with "wanting to know for sure" too. The great people here started asking me why I was giving my x so much power over my life? At what point was I going to take responsibility for my own world? And things like that. I struggled with the idea that I was putting her in complete control at first. I was so scared of doing the wrong thing and setting the end of the relationship in stone that I was paralyzed.

What I learned though, was to stop worrying about what she might or might not think. That by focusing on myself, making the changes that I needed to make for me to be happy in my life, and to stop trying to control everything by always trying to make the "right choice just in case," I felt free. I started to regain control of my own life. I started making the choices that were right for me regardless of my x. There was no more uncertainty about any of it. Does that make sense?