Recently diagnosed

[Lovetypemoose]

I proposed to my partner on St. Patrick's day,knowing she was an alcoholic. She's been in and out of hospitals many times and at this point I don't think she knows how to function in the real world. It might be that she can't handle it so she makes suicidal gestures.

On this most recent commitment I haven't visited. It's so hard, but when they diagnosed her BPD, and told me I was enabling her, I knew I had to stay away for her own good. I miss her, we're in the same town and I'm can't visit. I love her,  I don't want to leave her. My family says I should give her a few months to recover. Please let me know if I'm doing the right thing? She needs to know she doesn't need me to exist. It will help our relationship tremendously.

That doesn't mean I'm not completely torn up that I can't see the woman I still want to marry 10 hospitalizations in two years,  and I still want to try for a future together, but only after there's a future for her

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

That sounds like a really tough spot to be in LTM. I can't imagine having someone in my life that is in so much pain that multiple suicide attempts seem like the best choice.   

Are you seeing a therapist/counselor?

Did someone tell you that you can't see her, or did you make that decision yourself?