Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 04:07:22 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Blindsided... again  (Read 656 times)
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« on: July 31, 2016, 01:22:34 PM »

My uBPDbf just met someone thru social media -- literally on FRIDAY. And it's escalated quickly.

His assistant told me he and this woman exchanged 30 emails yesterday -- long drawn out about their lives, very flirty -- including him asking her out for drinks this week (and her accepting) -- after she declined to see him for a movie last night! Interesting since he told me he was sick and apologetic for cancelling our weekend plans. I feel so dumb now for being "understanding". Now I know the real reason. And I can't un-know it, but he doesn't know I know, so now what?

His asst gets his emails on her phone -- he insisted on this as part of her job. She and I are close. He knows this. He probably didn't think she checked it on the weekends. Or would tell me. She's been there for a year and has never seen him do anything like this before. I have, but it's been 3 years! I thought we were past this!

I'm in for a real BPD treat. I'm now "in the way". My guess is he will:

1) pick a random fight with me - wait for me to take the bait so he can justify a break up
2) tell me the truth about her - then break up unable to explain why his feelings changed

He's run out of bait so #1 won't work. But how the #$%& am I supposed to react to #2? Ok honey, enjoy your date. Call me when this one doesn't work out.

I am so upset, but at same time know how this will most likely play out. I've seen it before - women thinking he can help advance their careers, flirt with him, use him for free meal and networking, he sees greener grass, dumps me, they find out he's half-baked and broke, reject him. He's filled with guilt, regret and shame, on top of his depression. Then he'll be back, worse off than he left. Then again, maybe she's "the one".  I don't know. I feel sick.
Logged

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2016, 02:39:16 PM »

Hi Jessica,

hey, oh dammit, I am really sorry to hear about this development.  

I've just spent five full minutes staring at the blinking cursor thinking what you could do. All the coping skills you have, that I admire so much; that clarity of vision and self-knowledge and acceptance of your man-child. Smiling (click to insert in post)  

You can see how, just like a greedy child, he will go where the validation he gets is new and therefore somehow exciting. You've been there often enough to see how he comes back and knows to cherish what you have and how you are. Three steps forward, and then one step back?

Do you really think anyone is "the one" for him? You operate on the principle that you know what he needs and you know what you need. I can see how something like this might make you question that.  But steady on there.

Maybe prepare for this as carefully as you prepared for your trip. What are all the things that can happen - is it really only the two possibilities you list? What branches off of them, I wonder. If #2, then what is 2.1, 2.2, 2.3 and so on?

Or else take the time for yourself and think about what you need?
Logged
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2016, 03:12:34 PM »

Thanks Vit C. Can you make me laugh... .please?  Smiling (click to insert in post)

This is frustrating. He texted me like all is normal. Could this be some impulsive lonely weekend new-to-Facebook ego boost situation that will never happen and I'm overreacting?

He's had bad suicide ideation for the last few weeks - mostly due to self-inflicted financial problems. I know he's down in the dumps. And this ego boost has to be fun and exciting for him. But 30 emails? Asking her out? I'm sure he'd like a little breathing room to go check out this new prospect... .but boundaries... .

Just trying to stay cool... .while waiting for the shoe to drop.
Logged

jrharvey
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 301


« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2016, 03:14:46 PM »

Cheating is cheating. BPD or not. This is so annoying and I feel so bad for you. He sounds like a lost cause honestly.
Logged
VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2016, 04:08:50 PM »

I feel frustrated just thinking about it!

Ok, I am trying to imagine a sullen teenager who does not want to stay home and do his homework and have a nice dinner and watch a great film he loves with his family, who are actually extremely cool and good fun to be with. Normally he loves this stuff, and even doesn't have problems admitting that to his buddies - that his folks and sister and live-in granny are a hilarious and brilliant bunch.

He knows that not only are they fun, but that he really admires them and the way they live and the things they know and how they are in themselves. He always feels ok with his family. He knows from being around his buddies and staying over at the their houses that a lot of families are far from cool. He doesn't have the vocabulary or even mental concepts to articulate it, but he sees passive-agression, control, a lack of understanding, selfishness, hokeyness, grumpiness, weird arguments - all kinds of stuff that he never experiences in his own family. And his friends love coming over and hanging out with him, because he's just got the most easy-going but also smart family in the whole school. And everybody knows it.

But the teenager is a teenager, so sometimes his hormones go on the rampage and he finds himself wanting to do stuff that makes no sense to him. He kind of knows deep down that it's stupid, but he still wants to do it and the fact that he doesn't really know why kind of freaks him out. It's like the weird sexy dreams he has about Mrs. O'George next door, the 50 year old neighbour, who's not hot at all but is always nice to him. He hates that he sometimes has those dreams about her because in his waking life she's like an aunt and it just creeps him out. He doesn't tell anybody about that.

So when on Thursday night, at the Family Has Lasange, Black Forest Gateaux, and Movie Night, he suddenly wants to do a secret thing that he doesn't understand why he wants to do - he can't tell them. He can't explain or let them down; he hates to make them unhappy. A deep, yet to ripen, part of himself watches a little sadly and knows that whatever is driving him is not the real him. But a bigger, more impulsive, less formed, inarticulate, and scared part of him takes over and he calls everyone in the kitchen, the whole damned sweet family, "a bunch of losers" and storms out of the house.

No one was expecting that. It hadn't happened in a long while and they weren't prepared.

They look at each other a little blankly. The little sister is shaken because she idolizes sullen teenager and he hardly ever acts like that. The granny twists her pearls and says something about the pasta being al dente. Dad and Mom exchange more glances and tell sister to go get the goofy napkins they always use on Thursday nights. Then the grown-ups quietly get the coleslaw, that tastes really good with lasagne, dished out.

"We'll leave his dinner here. He can warm it up when he gets back", says  :)ad.
"I'll help him with his Heidegger essay tomorrow afternoon - are you ok to get the dog from the vet's? ", asks Mom of Dad.
"The possible ranks higher than the actual", says Granny with an arched eyebrow and quite a lot of insight, as usual.
"Are we still going to watch "Footloose again", asks little sister when she comes back with the napkins.

"You bet" says Dad with a big smile .
Logged
VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2016, 04:14:58 PM »

Oh.

Obviously I thought that was good enough to post twice. Sigh.

Read the second one, it's got fewer typos.
Logged
hope2727
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1210



« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2016, 04:17:05 PM »

Mine would do things like that. Pick a fight to have an excuse to break up so he could go do whatever he likes. Then come back later as if nothing had happened. It just got worse and worse. I am so sorry you are enduring that.

Decide on a boundary, explain it and the consequence once and then follow through. Mine was if there is so much as another whiff of cheating we are done. Thus we are done.

Should be noted I am laying here crying him and missing him as I write this so that may end up the outcome. I wish you all the best. Hugs
Logged
hope2727
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1210



« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2016, 04:20:21 PM »

 Bullet: contents of text or email (click to insert in post) vitamin C that really helped me today thank you. I always sort of understood but that made it more clear. I just wish my sullen teenager would finally grow up.

He is missed and loved and cherished even in his absence. 
Logged
VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2016, 04:33:11 PM »

I just wish my sullen teenager would finally grow up.

Oh, Hope, I hear you.
I loved my stupid teenager too, but had to give him up for adoption as I realised I could not be the mother he needed.

You know?

x
Logged
VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2016, 04:34:08 PM »

Because he was never going to grow up enough, for me.
Logged
hope2727
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1210



« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2016, 04:49:44 PM »

Yes I know. I am really missing him/us today. He is in my heart always. My thoughts almost always and in truth even after all this time I wish he would reach out. Stupid as it is I just can't unlove him.
Logged
VitaminC
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 717



« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2016, 05:04:19 PM »

Stupid as it is I just can't unlove him.

We can't "unlove", I suppose. Just realise that we love, and need to love, other things - life, calm, peace, truth, justice, health, laughter, ease, beauty, maybe more. And ourselves. We need to love ourselves.

It shouldn't be a competition between those loves.
Logged
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2016, 05:19:27 PM »

Thanks everyone. It's up to 40 emails now... .and getting... .obscene.

I told my friend not to tell me any more. I'm glad for the heads-up but I've heard enough. She is so livid with him over this! I told her to let it go, wasn't worth losing her job over. She's lost all respect for him though. Hard to believe this is happening. We had a lovely romantic vacation 3 weeks ago. Lovely time together since. And another trip planned for next month. No arguments. I'm 20 years younger than him and this girl isn't... .well... .she's not me. Doesn't make any sense. But BPD.

Now I wait for his breakup call. I'm ready.

I'll listen to him jabber on like an idiot, ask him if that's everything he has to say, then let him know I will be blocking him. Block, move on. Easy. Who needs this kind of drama?
Logged

once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2016, 11:01:23 AM »

I'll listen to him jabber on like an idiot, ask him if that's everything he has to say, then let him know I will be blocking him. Block, move on. Easy. Who needs this kind of drama?

is it possible he might up the ante with this news/reaction?
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2016, 12:21:08 PM »

Well, he called me this morning like nothing happened. I talked to him as if nothing had. Hard knowing about all this and pretending I don't. I have no idea if he will actually meet up with her. He hasn't yet, but here I wait. It caused a lot of grief for us before -- took him into a spiraling suicidal depression and took us a long time to get to where we were, before this. But BPD may have erased those memories.

I know one thing. I probably need a boundary with my friend who works for him. Hearing he was online flirting with someone or that he asked her out is one thing. Hearing the words of 42 emails read out loud to me (some in real time) was downright painful to hear. I know she meant well and was just upset with him on my behalf, but I think she did me more harm than good. Some ignorance is bliss.

As for him, if he acts on this email exchange, I will have to end it and then block him to keep him from hurting me with additional calls, texts and emails. I don't know if he knows that, but that is the boundary. Does he need to know it? When the disorder strikes like this, he doesn't remember much anyway. Won't he do whatever his impulsive feelings of the moment drive him to do? I don't see where I have any control of what he will do.

Are pwBPD even capable of seeing consequences as a deterrent to their behavior?
Logged

Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2016, 12:31:01 PM »

once removed - how could he up the ante? By blocking him, he loses access to me. Sure he could drive to my house, but he's not dangerous. I doubt he would anyway. He would just sit in his misery and contemplate suicide like he's done before. I hate this. On one hand, I worry about him harming himself if I cut him off, on the other, I'm so angry at him for doing this. It was so unnecessary and completely preventable with a simple statement to this woman: "I have a girlfriend!" He could even do it now. "Look, this has been fun but I have a girlfriend. I love her and don't want to hurt her or lose her". I get why he hasn't, but... .a girl can dream.
Logged

once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2016, 12:48:21 PM »

once removed - how could he up the ante?

its just a consideration. NC, blocking, these are situations that can induce anxiety on both sides. think ahead, with what is best for you in mind. it sounds like you are.

i think youre right about the information youre on the receiving end of from your friend. you know what you need to know. the full extent is probably overkill and i imagine pretty triggering.

do i have it right that your relationship is hinging on whether or not he acts on the email exchange?

Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2016, 01:52:11 PM »

I suppose, yes I believe this relationship all hinges on what he does next. The ball is in his court and it's filled with dynamite right now. I hope he doesn't light the fuse. I can forgive this little fling he had over the weekend because it hasn't gotten physical - that is my absolute limit. We have had some good strong years together and I hoped we could keep continue growing and improving together because I really do love him. But... .BPD keeps rearing its ugly head.
Logged

Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2016, 02:22:15 PM »

By the way, thank you for helping me think this through! The only person I've talked to about this is the one who fed me all the info, and she is seriously triggered, even thinking of quitting. She's made it to where I'm having to listen and validate her! So thank you for letting me vent. I almost forgot I have feelings in all this. 

Sad thing is, she's been calling me for advice on how to handle his office blowouts for almost a year. I helped her stand her ground, advised her on how to respond in various situations, and she was finally happy working there. I also finally had an extended drama-free vacation with him for maybe the first time ever, just a few weeks ago. But of course, these people can't have smooth sailing, can they? Chaos returns with a vengeance.

Now he risks losing a good employee and a 7-year relationship. For what?
Logged

lar, laris

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 34


« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2016, 02:53:43 PM »

Hi, Jessica84,

I'm really sorry to hear about the place you are in right now.  It must be extremely hard to watch your loved one act out this way.  It seems like you have been immensely understanding for a long time, and taken him back when he goes astray out of love and loyalty.  Those qualities are so central to making difficult relationships work.

In my own situation, I am currently trying to focus on myself, and one of the things I am wondering is if my tolerance (toleration?) of some of what comes down the pike has contributed to a lack of focus on what I would like my own boundaries/choices to be.  I feel like I'm "reacting" too much, sometimes... .  I wonder if you can relate to this.

No matter what, it must feel terrible to hang in the balance, wondering what choices he will make in this situation.  Maybe making some modest ones of your own, unrelated to him, while you wait for things to unfold, could help take your mind off of behaviors he may be repeating.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you.

(And VitaminC, thank you for your beautiful story.  One relevant take-away for me is resilience and moving forward in spite of what the loved pwBPD does.)


(
Logged
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2016, 03:23:04 PM »

I hate BPD! I hate drama. I have removed many friends and family members from my life for far less. I've never been co-dependent and I got over loneliness a long time ago. I'd rather be alone than surrounded by bad people. But BPD complicates everything! Because he is not a 'bad' person. He is a generous, compassionate, loving person. A good friend, good father to his kids, helps people for a living. Hard to discount all that when you know he is mentally ill. I love him for his many good qualities. Sometimes I wish I didn't. It would be easier. Anyone else who pulled the kind of crap he has would've been gone from my life ages ago. With him, boundaries flew out the window as chaos and confusion rocked my world.

A little more backstory... .

This was a doozy and reminds me a lot of what's happening right now. I finally went NC after one of many breakups in 2013. During this he took a girl out, then lost interest in her almost immediately. Exact same thing as this weekend -- ambitious young woman looking to climb the ladder, thinks he's someone that can help her, bats her eyes, he sees greener grass, dumps me, regrets it instantly. I reluctantly stayed in contact after (for work reasons) but didn't get back with him. So he met someone new for a drink. First girl gets jealous and rats him out to ME - I didn't even know she was the one I got dumped for, much less another one! Then... .things escalated when the second woman started stalking and harassing him, and he had to go to the police. I wanted nothing to do with any of this. But he called to tell me she threatened to go after ME. I was completely unaware of this weird love triangle and drama or that some psycho was out to get me because he chose to play with fire! We weren't even together! So how did I get into all this? After he lost interest in them, he told them, and anyone who would listen for that matter, how much he loved me and only wanted me. So everyone new who came along after these 2 nutjobs and batted her eyes lost interest in him pretty quickly. Soon, we got back together.

A year later, we broke up again. Gambling addiction at its peak. I went NC this time, ignoring all his calls. He got lonely and asked another woman at his office out. Apparently, he creeped her out, she told her boss who went berserk and smashed frames off his wall, again almost getting police involved, and he was forced to move. After what looked like another possible binge-dating nightmare (none of which led to any actual sex by the way - ha!) I was absolutely done. That was 2 years ago. We stayed apart for a whole 2 weeks. Then the suicide threats came. That's when I first came here for help and started learning about BPD.

He pulled me back in over and over. Something work-related, or a funeral brought us closer, or he called to ask me something... .next thing you know we're friends again and then back together. Each time I was harder to persuade. With stronger boundaries and him running out of options, he moved up to the emotional blackmail of suicide threats.

So upping the ante? Well... based on past history, I'm afraid he could go psycho-hunting, destroy his career and reputation, watch his finances collapse, file police reports, and fall into a deep dark abyss of despair and suicidal ideation. So... .I hope this girl he just met is worth it.

She's enamored but only seeing the mask, not the monster within. A monster that will come up if she doesn't have her BPD tool belt on. He's only seeing greener grass, not the tragic outcome of all this. That's why I'm thinking if he pursues this any further, rather than NC, blocking altogether. I can't deal with anything like that again.

Sad since all this nuttiness has been absent from our lives for 2 years now, thanks to what I've learned here. There's been no other women, no more breakups (though some close calls), and his dysregulations have been far less intense and less frequent. Overall, things have improved by miles! So what is triggering him this time? We've had a rocky past, but most of that is in the rear-view mirror! The only thing I can guess is threatening letters from the IRS and lack of funds to cover all his bills. His gambling addiction put him hundred of thousands into debt. Only reason he stopped is he could no longer afford it. Debts are mounting and he's at a crisis stage.

Ok, sorry I'm done. I so needed to get all that out. Thank you for letting me vent here.  
Logged

once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2016, 11:40:41 AM »

Overall, things have improved by miles! So what is triggering him this time?

think of the intense and pervasive fear of abandonment. a person with such fears may anticipate the other shoe dropping. when things are seemingly at their best, thats when there is the most to lose. sometimes that may drive unconscious sabotaging behaviors or self fulfilling prophecies as well.

what has the day to day relationship been like for say the last six months? whats the communication like? are you living together?
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2016, 01:25:29 PM »

That's a good point. How would I validate that if he's not aware? Or was this sabotage behavior enough to show him he has options if I were to abandon him?

r/s has been pretty good this year. We don't live together but talk daily. I spend 2-3 nights at his place, friendly conversations, no major dysregulations, laughter, good sex life, a few fun weekend trips.

On the flip side, he's struggling with depression and wakes up everyday feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by work. Business has been slow, debts are piling up. He's written suicide notes in his head but says he doesn't want to die. He wanted to leave town this past weekend but couldn't afford it. I offered to pay, he said no. So maybe this flirtation was just another form of "escape" from his own problems, his reality. He deleted the emails, they haven't emailed since, and he hasn't acted distant with me - calling me again like nothing happened.
Logged

lar, laris

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 34


« Reply #23 on: August 03, 2016, 05:20:37 PM »

It seems you have a good base for a return to greater stability again, Jessica84; I'm glad that he deleted the emails.  You sound much better in the latest post.  How are you doing today?
Logged
Jessica84
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 940


« Reply #24 on: August 03, 2016, 09:57:18 PM »

Thanks lar   Sorry for my dramatic rants. I was re-living a nightmare, unnecessarily. I'm better now. At least, trying to shake it off.

He invited me over last night. Nothing bad or unusual happened. He did bring up that 3 times last week I didn't answer my phone. Wow. And mentioned it again today (jokingly). I didn't think it was a big deal. So it is possible this was the trigger for him... who knows?

Whatever it was, it seems to be off the grid now. My friend told me there's been no more contact with that girl - I didn't ask - he asked her to charge his phone today so she went thru everything looking for "evidence"! I asked her please, no more spying on him or reporting things like this to me again. She agreed - said she needed to look for her own peace of mind, not mine.

Sweet of her to care so much, but she doesn't know about BPD or what I've been thru. Too easy to get anxious and paranoid given our history. 2 years ago there were LOTS of sudden bizarre changes in his behavior - mood swings off the charts! Nothing like that this time. So I'd rather wait for something to actually  happen and deal with it then, than to live in a frantic state of worry and what ifs. It's just not healthy.
Logged

waverider
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #25 on: August 04, 2016, 06:56:24 PM »

I think this is a good reason we dont really want windows into the BPD fantasy mind, dealing with the consequences of reality is hard enough.

We all have fantasies, but the BPD mind gets closer to believing they can live them out without consequeces, this puts them on the slippery slope and drags everyone with them.

It was good you didn't raise your concerns as that would most likely have preempted a landslide.
Logged

  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!