I've been trying to think of a way to keep our son in our current home in a way that he can feel safe and comfortable. One of the possible solutions I thought of is letting my husband stay in our home with our son when he has visitation... .But I hate to think of our son going back and forth between two places.
I appreciate your feelings, quite understandable, but there are factors involved that could make that wish impractical or even unhealthy.
The primary issue is whether it would heighten conflict. That article clearly was not describing a high conflict separation, divorce or post-divorce. Yet persistent conflict is what many of us here experience to a greater or lesser extent.
What if you or your stbEx — or both of you — remarry, even have more children too? Would it work for both families to spend time together? Would Ex's new GF or spouse like your Ex to visit you alone? Would your BF or spouse feel comfortable for you to spend time in Ex's home alone? If there had been conflict and unreason previously, would it work to blur the boundaries of the now-separate family status?
Lastly, virtually all divorced couples have separate homes. It's not unhealthy for the child to spend separate time in Dad's home and Mom's home, well, unless there are reasons for supervision of a parent. For most children of divorce it does end up that the parents' homes are separate, more or less.
This is not to say some time together won't happen. Sometimes the two families can share various events with the children... .some holidays, graduations, weddings, births of grandchildren, etc. That cannot be avoided. But "our son going back and forth between two places" is not necessarily a bad option. It is a typical outcome that is virtually universal when a marriage ends.
