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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Court on Tuesday, she burnt the past 9 months. So strange.  (Read 399 times)
bus boy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908


« on: August 20, 2016, 06:13:54 AM »

Not that I care but my ex has had 9 months to show her willingness to make this new order work. She stuck to the order but was totally unreasonable in every other way. Manipulated the order in every way. As adults we are suppose to be able to work things out, outside of the order. Sadly this has never been the case. As my boundaries get stronger she gets worse, if it is humanly possible to get worse. She could of even faked it for 9 months. Yesterday, only days before court she went into narcissistic rage on me, even had her flying monkey BF in the mix, shaking his fist, giving me the finger. Again, not that I care. S9 and I had a great evening but we have court. She is placing s9 closer and closer to me.
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david
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4365


« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2016, 07:38:01 PM »

My ex was most dangerous when she was stressed about something, including court, so be careful. She did things I never expected during those times. I have a video and an audio recorder and she knows it now so I protect myself that way.
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bus boy
******
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908


« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2016, 04:16:57 AM »

I wish I put my phone on vid. I would of at least got what she was saying.
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david
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4365


« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2016, 10:27:00 AM »

My ex started with protection orders (three) the first of which floored me because I just couldn't believe she would stoop so low. Finally, having me arrested for assault and put in jail for two weeks completely changed my way of thinking about her ever getting better.
Ex is now a stranger to me and I don't let strangers treat me the way she did or tries to.
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ForeverDad
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18071


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2016, 12:13:19 PM »

The disordered people in our lives are experts at surprising us and catching us off guard.  So it's good for us to be prepared to handle a variety of scenarios.

The pattern started in my case months before we separated.  I'd leave a reasonably normal spouse in the morning and come home to a furious demanding stranger.  I'd leave a furious demanding stranger in the morning and come home to a reasonably normal spouse.  I just could not predict who I would find when I came home — or even whether she might morph while I was home.
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bus boy
******
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908


« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2016, 05:38:04 PM »

My ex and I were having a nice lunch one day and out of the blue she says, who dresses you, a 12 year old? I was wearing blue jeans and  tee shirt.
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