Relationships with people who show traits of B/NPD can be very trying (to say the least) at times, can't they? But, I'm not sure that I understand what you meant here:
What I'm feeling today is what I have to
Can you please explain?
To be honest, it is possible for either of those wishes to come true. You just have to decide which one you really want. Of course, I don't live in some Pollyanna world where I think that wishing can heal/fix/change someone though. In fact, I am adamantly against the idea of anyone trying to heal/fix/change someone who is not asking for help. Even then, the best that can be expected is to help someone do those things.
If you can give us some more insight into what's going on, and you would like for us to do so, we might be able to help you work through some of these things and bring you closer to what you want.