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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Guillaume620
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: August 28, 2016, 01:18:37 PM »

I found my way to this website through an exploration of the Drama Triangle (which I discovered in Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More". My wife and the love of my life suffers from clinical depression and anxiety and I am trying to master all of the resources that I can do deal with it.  It has gotten progressively worse over the past 4-5 years and is now acute to the point that she doesn't really function at times.  I am a "rescuer", always trying to fix things, make excuses to friends and family, hide the "embarrassment".  I am learning to break away from that role, but it is hard to watch someone you love sink further into depression and inactivity.  I feel responsible to my wife's family, who are far away geographically t]and who expect me to aggressively "solve" this problem, even though their ideas on "solving" are counterproductive.

I've been in therapy off and on, but I am hoping that a community of people that have perhaps gone through or are going through what I am currently going through can help.

Thank You
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ArleighBurke
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: was married - 15 yrs
Posts: 911


« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2016, 07:26:29 PM »

Welcome!

My wife is a high functioning BPD with depression and anxiety. She appears "normal" to the world during the week, then falls apart each weekend.

I also find there is a fine line between loving/supportive and enabling.

Do you suspect your wife has BPD? It probably doesn't matter, the techniques/resources/mindset here would apply whether she does or not.

Can you tell us more about your situation? How old are you both? How long have you been together? Do you have kids living with you? What is a typical interaction you have with her?

It's fantastic that you want to help - and I'm sure you will find some guidance and answers here.
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10395



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« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2016, 07:56:22 PM »

Guillaume620,

Welcome

I'd like to join ArleighBurke and welcome you. Anxiety and depression is really tough. I'm sorry to hear that you're wife is going this. I would find it hard watching a loved sink further into depression. CBT was initially designed to help people suffering from depression. Is your wife seeing a T ( therapist )? Are you seeing a T? Do you find time to do things that you enjoy? What motivated you to search for Karpmann drama triangles?
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12731



« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2016, 01:53:17 PM »

Guillaume620,

Glad you found the site, and sorry for the troubles that bring you here.

In what ways is she not functioning?

Is she getting out of bed?
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