Does anybody here understand love?
...I dont understand it when Im (supposedly) receiving it.
Anybody else struggle with this?
WTH does love between adults mean anyway?
I think every soul on this planet struggles with 'what is Love?'. [And I totally agree - of course how we perceive this thing will be influenced by our 'Wonder Years', y'know?]
I think we struggle because Love is a feeling, a journey, and... imho, can't really be defined succinctly or generically. It's kind of nebulous, 'cause what we feel as love as an 18 yr old will most certainly change somehow by the time we're 69. (My mom just got re-married.
In addition to that romantic spark we all know and get giddy over, maybe if one substitutes certain words for Love - like 'respect' and/or 'appreciate', for instance - it might help?"This person respects [appreciates, etc.] me (and my thoughts, my experiences, my feelings)."
or"This person fosters my feelings of worthiness [safety, individuality, etc.]."
("And all they want in return is that I show them the same.")
Sidebar: When my now-husband and I were dating, he did a lot of those things gary mentioned... he saw I was missing a wheel cover on my car and picked one up, he took care of me when I was down with the flu (fever, throwing up... not a pretty sight :P), he seemed to listen to me -- things I had not experienced with a S/O before then, so it sorta felt like 'love' to me.
But, I also had 'learned' enough in years before then to not trust very well. How did I know that he wasn't doing those things to make himself feel more important? Did he think I couldn't take care of myself? Maybe he was doing those things to 'control' me?
These were possibilities/realities I 'learned' from my bio-father and step-dad.
Time marches on, and I learn/ed more about MyGuy, what motivates him, and what he
interprets as love - and so I learn more about myself as well. It's not all good*, and I'm certainly no expert, but... I think Love between two adults is an extended lesson in mutual compromise, a learning experience that has a factor of a certain level of commitment... It's an evolution, at least for me.
*If you want examples of 'what Love is Not', I have plenty of those, too... :