BPD using your anger

[Think About It...]

I've read some posts about how angry some nons are at their BPDso.  I know how that is becasue I can getr very angry at mine.

My question is:  Does your BPD attempt to use your anger against you?  Mine tells me how emotionally and verbally abusive I am when I get angry with the things she does.  But after years of putting up with accusations and hearing f*** you and I hate you and a whole bunch of other crap, my patience is almost gone.

I do get angry fairly quickly and I have told her she is a psycho and she needs help.  She then uses this as 'proof' that I am abusive to her.

Is this a common thing for anyone else?

[backinblack]

I've read some posts about how angry some nons are at their BPDso.  I know how that is becasue I can getr very angry at mine.

My question is:  Does your BPD attempt to use your anger against you?  Mine tells me how emotionally and verbally abusive I am when I get angry with the things she does.  But after years of putting up with accusations and hearing f*** you and I hate you and a whole bunch of other crap, my patience is almost gone.

I do get angry fairly quickly and I have told her she is a psycho and she needs help.  She then uses this as 'proof' that I am abusive to her.

Is this a common thing for anyone else?

[John Galt]

They chip away at your brain,your self esteem,your values,your patience,your beliefs ,your boundries etc etc etc
And we let them.
I do,you do,lots of us do.

We then react because we are human.We have blood in our veins,not ice water.We are not robots.

Anger is an important emotion.We as humans developed this emotion for survival techniques.

Our problem is when we do not know how to channel our anger.

Fight or flight.
When I cannot do neither,it gets real tough,my friend.

They push you and push you and then we retaliate.Then they claim we are abusive and the dance goes on.
I think that for those who are committed,they must seek techniques to cope and how to deal with their BPD spouse.

One strategy is to not engage and go to your happy place.
Engaging is accepting,
Marc

[garyw]

Sounds like a very typical situation of when couples get mad and loose control and use words that of course even esculate even more.

It's hard not to in the heat of it I know.

[Janthina]

It was a game she played, working me until I'd snap. Once I threw a glass down on a coffee table and smashed that glass into smithereens. I cleaned it up.

That was a win for her.

But the best wins of all were when she could push me so I'd crack in front of her family. It happened three times in as many years. When she'd worked it just right, it wouldn't even be her that I snapped at.

She was clever, clever, clever. She was so skilled at what she did.

Manipulating me like that took an artist. Now with Trog on her line, I wonder, is it like lake bass fishing after you've been playing bonefish over the sandflats? Isn't it boring to collect carp by dynamiting the pond when you've been trout fishing? Doesn't she find it a waste of her finely-honed skills?

But the thing about bass fishing on the lake? You can drink until you don't know which way is up and the fish are so stupid that they still take the hook. Especially if that hook is baited with beer and p****.

To land a trout or a bonefish, you need to be sober.