Update on Hs amazing progress

[Think About It...]

Hi, all. H has been so 'normal' lately that I am constantly pinching myself. He has been taking his meds religiously, so I believe that accounts for his good mood and great attitude.

He has been in the woods a lot, hunting first with bow & arrow (2 deer in freezer now) then black powder and now rifle. Weather has been perfect. So much of this could be because nothing has gone 'wrong.'

Today, Sunday, he helped me with my committee's biggest event, feeding abt 250 members of the church for our Thanksgiving feast. (We also feel Habitat folks and other groups, taking meals to them).

Huge amount of organization, and H was amazing. He cut up turkeys brought in by six of us, helped heat up the food, helped arrange the food table, heated the gravy in crock pots, etc., etc.

My kitchen helpers were delighted, as he joked and carried on, but accomplished SO much. He won over some folks who have questioned his tendency to be overly dramatic at times.

He even sang in the Praise Choir (he has a great voice but has not been singing for awhile).

Caveat: When we got home, he went out on his 4-wheeler and nearly 'climbed' a tree with it, but managed to get off it without having it tumble onto him and smash him to bits. Came in quite shaken, sick to his stomach over what nearly happened.

Then he realized he'd not taken 2 doses of meds and said: I'll bet that is why I'm feeling sick ... took one dose and is now on the couch, watching NASCAR.

He sees his T tomorrow. T cancelled last 2 appts; hopefully this one will be kept. If H slips into sarcasm or a rage or just a bad mood, I'll have to remind myself about the meds goof and roll with it.

Long msg, but more to say...

[marnie]

Hi, all. H has been so 'normal' lately that I am constantly pinching myself. He has been taking his meds religiously, so I believe that accounts for his good mood and great attitude.

He has been in the woods a lot, hunting first with bow & arrow (2 deer in freezer now) then black powder and now rifle. Weather has been perfect. So much of this could be because nothing has gone 'wrong.'

Today, Sunday, he helped me with my committee's biggest event, feeding abt 250 members of the church for our Thanksgiving feast. (We also feel Habitat folks and other groups, taking meals to them).

Huge amount of organization, and H was amazing. He cut up turkeys brought in by six of us, helped heat up the food, helped arrange the food table, heated the gravy in crock pots, etc., etc.

My kitchen helpers were delighted, as he joked and carried on, but accomplished SO much. He won over some folks who have questioned his tendency to be overly dramatic at times.

He even sang in the Praise Choir (he has a great voice but has not been singing for awhile).

Caveat: When we got home, he went out on his 4-wheeler and nearly 'climbed' a tree with it, but managed to get off it without having it tumble onto him and smash him to bits. Came in quite shaken, sick to his stomach over what nearly happened.

Then he realized he'd not taken 2 doses of meds and said: I'll bet that is why I'm feeling sick ... took one dose and is now on the couch, watching NASCAR.

He sees his T tomorrow. T cancelled last 2 appts; hopefully this one will be kept. If H slips into sarcasm or a rage or just a bad mood, I'll have to remind myself about the meds goof and roll with it.

Long msg, but more to say...

[marnie]

Needed to add that I've been more aware lately about how difficult it is for a Borderline to be made aware daily that he/she is the cause of so many problems.

So I've been kinder, gentler, not so quick to remind him that he is BPD. (which is easier when he's on an up-swing, of course). All of this has made us connect better, and it is lovely.

We can actually disagree about something and it doesn't turn into a big deal. He says: you know, I think you are right ... then we both laugh out loud.

Oh, I surely hope this lasts.

marnie :D

[CasaG]

Oh, Marnie, I so hope this lasts!  If only they could see and acknowledge how much better *their* lives are when they stay on their meds and keep up the therapy. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, lady!

[caggif]

Hi Marnie,
Great to hear things are going so well for you - doesn't it make for a much more pleasant life all round !.

I have been living with vast improvements around here lately too.  It would seem that H has finally accepted that he has BPD. He actually admitted it to an old friend of his from his military days last week, and w/o making it another of his "oh woe is me" stories.  He is also a great deal more forthcoming with telling me whats going on with his T.

  We danced at a party at the weekend, and joy of joys, managed to go Christmas shopping yesterday w/o it resulting in one of his tantrums of I want, I want, I want - he actually even suggested a couple of things we could get for others - now THAT is an improvement.

I have to admit that I too have tried to think more kindly and tolerantly towards H, and act accordingly.  My old gran always used to say you could catch more bees with honey than you could vinegar, and that certainly seems to be case.  For myself, I was just so sick of all the hostilities around here, and decided that I was going to live true to me no matter how H behaved.  Seems like he's finally picking up on the pleasantries 

I await the Christmas holidays with more than a little curiosity this year,
I hope the improvements continue for you both,
Love
Caggi xx

[pip]

i am so over the moon happy for you marnie
its good to hear a success story
please tell us more
pip

[marnie]

I thought he had an appt w/his T today; turns out it was his MD, just a checkup. T's appt is just before Christmas and we may be heading on a roadtrip then.

H is still in a very mellow mood, taking his meds carefully--yesterday's lapse seems not to have stirred him up.

But, as we all know, they manage to maintain if everything goes the way they want it to go~

marnie  :P

[been there]

   Hi marnie,

   Thats for the update, and glad that things are going well for both of you.

   Mark

[John Galt]

Marnie,

I love hearing when good stuff happens to great people!

Congrats and Kudos to you,because the therapist helps,the meds help and also give yourself a pat on the back because you have played a massive role as well,no less of a role than the meds and the T.

What meds does he take BTW,

Marc

[marnie]

Marc, he takes something like 24 meds a day, at 4 specific times. The VA periodically monitors his blood levels and changes them about.

One shrink tried to increase a med, H objected, they did not increase it at that time.

Sorry I cannot tell you exactly what is working & what is NOT working, but right now, he is doing SO well I wouldn't want to change anything.

New T just started working with him, so we'll see.

H was periodically hospitalized, spent eons on psych wards, and I totally credit the VA with getting him on his feet again and functioning.

Initial dx was PTSD from VietNam tours as helicopter doorgunner.

marnie

[still]

I am so happy for you both, Marnie, that things are going well.  Thanks so much for sharing your joint success story! 

[At_Bay]

It's so nice that you had a good holiday. So many meds and so time- consuming for him that I can see how he'd wait too long and skip a dose. I barely can take five on time and am considering ways to reduce the number.

That was a close call with the tree. I wonder if he saw himself alone and not missed for awhile. I know I keep saying it, but he owes you so much and I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself at the big church dinner your committee arranged. Taking direction is hard for them and it's a connection with us when a job has to be done and they see it through. Nice to look back on something done together.

At Bay

[marnie]

Today was another major breakthrough, but only my friends here at BPDFamily would understand why I feel this way!

I try to get my walk in daily; half mile to the paper box & mail box, so that's a mile RT. Today was very chilly, but I made myself bundle up and walk. H teased me as I left; he was outside doing chores.

When I got back with the paper, he was not 4 feet from me (doing something on his truck, in front of the house) so I basically waved as I walked by & went into the house.

Sat down a bit, then was working in the kitchen when he burst in, a worried look on his face. Relieved, he said: I was SO worried! I didn't see you come back, and at first I figured you were talking to a neighbor, then I worried 'cause it is hunting season (we live in the country, and I wear bright colors to walk on the gravel road). I was about to get the 4-wheeler and go look for you.

None of this was said in anger, or outrage. It was genuine concern, and it touched me deeply.

He NEVER pays attention to where I go or when I get home; this was highly unusual.

I hugged him and told him I'd walked right by him and thought he'd seen me return.

Pinch me, folks, I must be dreaming. I don't know where this is coming from, but sure do welcome it.

I'm baking him a loaf of bread as I write this~

luv, marnie

[At_Bay]

It is amazing and I know what you mean about him doing it without focusing on himself in an irritated way. He was indeed in a hurry to learn that you were safe and that's nice to see. You deserved that moment.

At Bay

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