Anyone doing anything special for their hubby/wife/bf/gf for V-day?

[Think About It...]

Is anyone doing anything particularly special for their husband, wife, bf, or gf for Valentine's Day? My card is going to be special, but I won't post it's content until I've given it to her . So I'll reply tonight or tomorrow with my card's cool slogan . But feel free to post on ideas you have for v-day.

Drew

[laker]

Is anyone doing anything particularly special for their husband, wife, bf, or gf for Valentine's Day? My card is going to be special, but I won't post it's content until I've given it to her . So I'll reply tonight or tomorrow with my card's cool slogan . But feel free to post on ideas you have for v-day.

Drew

[elphaba]

I left a cute valentine on the bedside table so that it would be the first thing he saw when he woke up, sent a little be my valentine request on his band website so it would be the first thing he saw when he went online.

He sent me back a nice message, and then called - not sure what is up for tonight, he did cancell band practice (this is a first) and plans on staying home... my idea, get takeout and hide out in the bedroom for the night /:)

We've been on a good little run, he is aware and making changes, taking a breath before he reacts to things... could be the first good valentines day in a couple of years...  mmmm...I want cake... 

Wishing "huh" and all the others, nons and bp's - a loving valentines...

[Caribou]

My wife and I both had a hectic day planned at our respective work places but managed to get away and have a quiet lunch out together.  The sun is shining, it's warmer than it has been in a few days, the food was delicious, we had a good conversation about some important issues, and my wife looked radiant.  It was a good lunch.

[lennic]

, we had a good conversation about some important issues, and my wife looked radiant.  It was a good lunch.
 

Good conversation and in the company of a radient woman. Though you don't wish it you have my envy.

You have found what Dorothy was searching for...the way home. Well done Caribou,,and she has wonderful taste too.

Lenny

[laker]

Caribou, that sounds great  . For my V-day gift, I got a rustic-looking heart-shaped photo frame, and then I made two custom cards, one "normal" one, and then one "real" one so to speak. The wife likes to get something normal that she can put up, and then get something that discloses our private stuff seperately (makes sense). So my 2nd card had a top slogan that said:

Buying Presents aka: Distractions
Buying People with Dough
Buying Petty Distractions
Buying Pretty Dresses
Buying Pretty Dolls

It just takes more than
a three letter acronym to
describe someone/something.

Love just can't be described by
any one of these acronyms

And I want you to know,
NEITHER CAN YOU

This was because she felt like I was objectifying her as a BP lately, and forgetting that she was still herself. So essentially I was saying that love is sometimes defined by one of those acronyms at the top, and sometimes I take an acronym and try to define her by it. I had to explain it a bit. Does anyone else get it? heh. Also, she bought me a creamy chocolateValentine cake (because she had been concerned about my weight and commenting on it). I appreciated that, and in return I offered to only eat a very small piece  . Also, candle-lit bedroom... I'll leave things off at that point heh, it was a really nice night. I feel encouraged to start to push again to help her sustain a rage-free month or so at least. Although last night she also mentioned that she questions if she's really a BP or if she might just have some form of depression (or bi-polar). I didn't question that, I let her go on it because maybe she's right? She knows most about herself. I told her I wouldn't label her anymore (especially since either way she's getting help through therapy + psychiatrist).

[amybeth79]

Laker- that was a wonderful idea.  I'm sure she loved it a lot. 

Some people with BPD get rather worked up at the idea of a label.  I know when I was first dx'd, I felt like people were trying to say that everything was due to my disorder.  BPD this, BPD that; "Amy, that's because you're borderline" etc, etc.  However, now I've gotten more settled with the dx, and don't much care what I'm called (well...maybe I shouldn't say that ).

Anyway, good job making her V. Day special.

AmyBeth

[laker]

Thanks Amybeth! . I was hoping it'd work out heh. I was a lil worried she'd get angry that it was so much about BPD, but she wasn't. Note that the B,P,D in each line was bold of course. So ultimately we had a nice evening, hoepfully things continue to go well for us.

Drew

[wart]

Sounds like great evenings. My valintines was hard as this was, I think, the first holliday I did not get her anything. In the past no matter how mean she had been there was always this expectation to make a big deal about special days. I guess I am seeing those have been little trips to Oz...The reason I did not was this time rather than worrying about how she would respond I simply asked myself, What do I want to do? Do I want to send a valentine to someone who in the last 24 hours attempted to black mail me again? Nope I don't." Don't mean to be a downer but I think that is actually a good step for me. Funny...you know it just occured to me that she did not send me anything either...hmmmmmm...funny that this is the first I noticed that. I think my focus has been so much on her it has almost been like I don't exist.

[huh]

I made my BPD a Valentine... don't have much money right now, so the present will have to be delayed! He got me a nice card with a REALLY SWEET letter in it... he seems to be really trying and making positive changes in his life after I let him know that he canNOT treat me the way that he has been! He brought over some wine (and didn't get drunk!) and some dinner, too...was a great V-day! Hope everyone else's was also great!

[tomyoung]

for about two weeks, i had been gathering up the ideas i had for my gifts to her and her daughter.  some of them were gift certificates for the visible changes hair salon, a nail salon, and a car wash.  candy, bath/body works stuff and flowers i had to get at the last minute due to the "wilt" factor.

well, i got up at 4am and drove the 44 miles to her town.  i stopped at the flower shop and picked up the arrangements i had selected the night before and left in their cooler ovenight. they were really pretty--roses--a red bunch and a white bunch in vases.

went to the house and left the big gift bags and the flowers on the hood of each of their cars at about 6am.

i then went home and went to work.

today is friday and i have not heard a single word from either of them.  i thought at first they might have been taken by someone else.  but, no, i confirmed that they did get them.

not a word...

it sure puts me in my place.

[Baloo]

On the night of the 12th in celebration of Valentines day i took my wife to a hotel room with a spa...i brought chocolates and carnatiions to send an aroma into the room.   It was a wonderful night and morning untill...she said she forgot her toothpaste and went searching through my shaving kit for toothpaste.  I have been suffering from permanent forgetfullness of her rages so i decided two months ago to record them to help me figure out what to do, including phone messages she left me screaming.   welll she found my digital recorder in my shaving kit and when she showed it to me i took it away from her...she ran out of the hotel and i calmly packed the things from the room and placed them into our car.   i found her walking down the street (after calling her cellphone) near the Hotel and she got in From the hotel we were headed to a counseling appointment and she did attend it with me, primarily so she could expose my indisretion to the counselor.  When she brought it up i explained that she had a personality disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder and that i was trying to determine my best response to her rages to which she responded that i was going to use it in court against her in divorce proceedings.  i explained to her it is impossible since it is illegal in CA to make such recordings and it could not be used in a CA court.  She told me that she knew she had borderline personality disorder (which was news to me) and that i was labeling her. Any way  it has been a tumultuous week for us, but as she settled into the fact that divorce proceedings were not happening, and i was trying to work on my responses to her, i think she actually is seeing it as an act of love toward her and reassurance that i want to work this out.  Good luck to all who cannot communicate thier spouses diagnosis, i did not imagine that this not be VERY DRAMATIC, but so far it has not.  My journey continues...

[elphaba]

Awww - Tom - that has to be one of the sweetest and saddest things ever.

They have no idea what a great person they have in you...  the trouble you went to, the thoughtfulness, thinking of both of them...amazing!

I got mine a couple more little gifts and cards, got home and he proceeded to fall asleep for 2+ hours and then be upset because I was mad.  It ended ok, but, I guess my expectation of my valentine being awake was too much to ask.  All about OUR expectations as Non's, that's crap (sometimes)

You did something so special, you deserve a thank you and a kiss.

so since they did not...Thank you for being a caring, sweet, thoughtful man (it is rare) and  :-*

- Elphie

[tomyoung]

thank you E.

it has been a hard week.  i miss the fun holiday events like valentines.  there are so many things you can do to get a smile and a hug.

this time just wasn't it.

i'm sure they will use the certificates. i know they ate the candy. the flowers really did look special.

i am just trying too hard, which makes the fall that much farther.l

[Special thanks to our sponsors!]

Special thanks to our sponsors! Keeping us on the air in 2013 Pay it forward Here
	123Phoebe 1989 1bravegirl 20years 23tesla 5keepers Alastor alf aluminumRob Amber3 ambi AmericanTemplar an0ught Arecibo armsreach Arthur artman.1 At_Bay Auspicious aussie mumma Aussieman babyducks Bananas bb12 beachgirl009 BeenReplaced BeenThereB4 BehindTheWall Being Mindful Belka berry Blazing Star BlueTiffany BradyK briefcase cal644 CalledaPerson Cannon captain4464 cbas cfh charred chayka Chosen Cici cindyr cleotokos Cmjo CodependentHusband ComoLu ComplexOpus Conundrum coworkerfriend Cumulus dauada David Dare daze deelee950 dharmagems Dire Wolf dusk eac elessar eniale Exonerated eyvindr faithfull fakename findingmyselfagain Firequelcher flatspin Forgetmenot Free One freshlySane fromheeltoheal Gbirdmom GeekyGirl goldylamont goodguy gottafixit Grammy17201 griz GustheDog Healing4Ever heartandwhole Her Mother heronbird heyhey hijodeganas hithere hopeforhealing How do I do This? HowPredictable Hunter56 Hurt llama Hurtbad Inspirationneeded isshebpd Jai Yen jalbright jaleo2000 jargon337 jb1 jessienbp JetsFan joanlee johnnyonthespot jordana418 Joseph54 just me. Kate4queen keepwalking keldubs78 kellygirl601 Kelsie Kewahkah kimberlysc knowing laelle lbjnltx Leaf livefreebpdfamily loved_her? LoveNotWar LP luckyduck LuckyEscapee LuvMontana Major_Dad mamachelle MammaMia mango_flower maria1 maryy16 meditator Memorial Donation (11) mggt michaelwriting midori0 Mightyhammers Millie12 MomsBestFriendNoMore Moorpark Mountaineagle mp2? Mr Mom... mymiracles MySanctuary Nelson1962 newlyhopeful nomoredrama71 nonhere NorthernGirl nothinleft NotTheMama NYCgirl NY-LON Odysseus. Oldsoldier2411 OnceConfused ontherox opheliasmom Orange patientandclear Patty peaceplease peppie Phoenix.Rising pinkpeony PrettyPlease Pugman Rapt Reader really refuge rethinking RiseUp rj47 Robhart rockman Rocky777 Rockylove rogerroger rollercoaster24 Rose1 Sabine saddle_tramp SadWifeofBPD SailMonkey salvia Sancho scallops Scarlet Phoenix schwing scraps66 screechowl seahorse Seb sfgirl skinny13 somuchlove southernsis splitinga still around strangerinparadise StrongEnough struggli stupafly Sullyone Surnia susanleona swampped T. Moore tailspin Take2 Tess Russell Thursday TigerEye Tippy toliveistofly Tracy62 Triptoes tryingtohelp tuum est61 twojaybirds upsidedown VeryScared vfsdan Vindi vivekananda waitaminute WalrusGumboot Want2know watersedge waverider wee_one whatshappening whiletheseasonspass whirlpoollife whitemouse Wimowe winston72 wishingwell17 withBPD WorkingOnIt worn_out WrongWoman wuzdownandgetnbetter yamada yeeter
	If you made a donation and your name does not appear on this list or here , please contact us so that we can confirm that the payment was properly credited to BPDFamily.
	Pay it forward Here