to be acused of BPD?

[Think About It...]

I know that personifying bad traits to others is key for BPD,
but has anyone ever been acused of the full shooting match?
again my BPD  is way smart, too smart.  she has been "giving" me traits for a while now and now she seems to think that  I have BPD and has taken advise as to how to deal with BPD'ers. this is getting to weird. its like when the bad lone ranger shows up and tonto has to figure out which is the real lone ranger! I think what happened is she gave me all these traits then went to phych and dignosed me! sheesh. I have to go to bed, hey maybe she is here, like a mole. but her own mole. I am laughing but seriously how does this work.
M.
also I gave her untill the 15th of this month to figure out what she is doing, I fear I may have to migrate to the devorced side. its strainge though at this point I am just doing the step, its strange when I read about BPD I thought hay she may have that I would never want to dignose her but it kinda sounds about right, but then I read your stuff, and not to down play anyones BPD, but sheesh she is horrible!  a poster child even. there is still love though.  3 more days.
night

[1950f3]

I know that personifying bad traits to others is key for BPD,
but has anyone ever been acused of the full shooting match?
again my BPD  is way smart, too smart.  she has been "giving" me traits for a while now and now she seems to think that  I have BPD and has taken advise as to how to deal with BPD'ers. this is getting to weird. its like when the bad lone ranger shows up and tonto has to figure out which is the real lone ranger! I think what happened is she gave me all these traits then went to phych and dignosed me! sheesh. I have to go to bed, hey maybe she is here, like a mole. but her own mole. I am laughing but seriously how does this work.
M.
also I gave her untill the 15th of this month to figure out what she is doing, I fear I may have to migrate to the devorced side. its strainge though at this point I am just doing the step, its strange when I read about BPD I thought hay she may have that I would never want to dignose her but it kinda sounds about right, but then I read your stuff, and not to down play anyones BPD, but sheesh she is horrible!  a poster child even. there is still love though.  3 more days.
night

[vinnieray]

Counter accusation is typical of BP.  It's a way for them to deny their role in any situation...by 'tag, you're it'.  It was the first thing my BP wife did when she was diagnosed (by a professional).

Anyway -- If you can get her to see a trained professional, it'll be great.  In the meantime, you should not diagnose her or use the word 'BPD' in any conversation with her.  It will only make things worse. 

Good luck, and remember -- there is always hope.  BPs do get better with the right professional and program.  I've gotten close to divorce several times, but I keep hanging on.

[1950f3]

never said BPD, and tried to get her to shrink. I went it was not that bad.
never even thought before that she was not right, just thought she was a B*&ch. and because I cannot and will not "diagnose" that is still my assesment. this is not to say that I don;t love her.

[makeitstop5]

Counter accusation...OR, simply projection of their traits onto you.. I agree is typical those suffering from BP.  Since exploring this disorder, I see so many similarities in the behavior's of BPD's as described by the Non's in their lives, it's uncanny.  I'm hoping to get to the point where it's also reassuring - that I can start looking at some of this objectively and understand it's not ME (or my son) who triggers these episodes, it's a part of H that he cannot yet comprehend and therefore isn't in touch with.  He just started therapy and I'm hopeful, while recognizing that it's going to take a lot of time and effort for this to work.

I understand the hesitancy not to label or diagnose.   I also appreciate the anger and frustration you must be going through.  Sometimes it's like I don't know where the illness ends and the a$$hole takes over.  I love this man and have never deviated from that position.  I just hate how he's deteriorated and the price we've all had to pay -  the cost has been very high.   More and more, though, I'm educating myself about mental health issues and learning how to protect myself and the kids.  In doing this, it's easier to love him WITHOUT carrying around excessive resentment.  There's still some there but I'm hoping therapy will enable me to lose these particular pieces of emotional luggage.

Best of luck to you...