Court Yesterday We won

Coolmomof4

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Court Yesterday We won

« on: March 21, 2007, 09:09:16 AM »

Court was yesterday. My step-son since Thanksgiving had been begging to not be forced to visit with his BPD-momster anymore. Things got really bad, he refused to talk to her even on the phone, but we continued to follow the order and send him for visits. DH filed a modification, and our hearing was yesterday. We didn't expect any testimony; it was supposed to be the judge just reading all of the written requests, affidavits etc. But she wanted testimony.

DH was on the stand for over an hour, and he even broke down and cried. He explained why he is concerned - the things that step-son is saying, are exactly what DH experienced in the marriage. At one point, he mentioned BP's diagnosis - and BP's attorney objected due to "no foundation". SO HE WAS ALLOWED TO LAY THE FOUNDATION! He was allowed to talk about the diagnosis, what he endured in the marriage, the physical abuse by her - EVERYTHING! BP's attorney didn't even acknowledge it at all. He got everything out that he was hoping to say plus more. Her attorney was all over the place, picking at dumb things, and every time she was proven wrong. Obviously she believed every lie BP told her and she was just spitting it back out.

BP got on the stand, and even her attorney was getting frustrated, asking her to "just answer the question, yes or no, and hurry up, we don't have much time..." Basically, she blamed everything on me, accused me of controlling everything, and not allowing step-son to have a relationship with her. Our attorney asked her 2 questions: What meds are you taking? She wouldn't really answer other than a very mild antidepressant for a sleep problem. And she asked when the last time she worked was (She claims to be gainfully employed as a substitute teacher). She couldn't remember the last day she worked! The attorney then asked her how many days she worked in Feb. She couldn't answer. Then she eventually said that she works between one and 10 days per month. Yeah, that's gainfully employed. Haha.

Then, the judge wanted to see step-son in chambers. Stupidly, BP's attorney objected, and said he would have to testify in open court. So, bravely, he agreed. He explained how he felt, and that he has tried for months to explain it to his mother, but she won't listen. BP's big argument also was that step-son is disrespectful. But step-son explained to the judge, that to BP, being disrespectful is when he doesn't agree with her, or he won't pretend everything is perfect. BP's attorney also pulled out pictures of visits with his mother, where he was smiling, and tried to call him on it "It looks here like you were having a good time." Step-son told her somethig like, I can enjoy activities when I am there. It doesn't mean everything is fine and I am happy. I wasn't in the court room, as the judge cleared it of spectators for his testimony. These are things that he told me afterwards on his own.

Anyway, the judge tore BP a new one. She told BP that clearly, SS was very honest and believable on the stand and she doesn't believe anyone is coercing him. He has tried to have a relationship with her, and she won't listen to his concerns. She doesn't care about her son. She just wants to blame me for everything, and she sees no evidence of that. She had 7 years to cultivate a relationship and she hasn't done it. She also told her she obviously has some serious issues she needs to deal with. She also mentioned to BP that she didn't even bother to get in touch with step-son's counselor. If she had been concerned with his behavior and his "disrespectfulness", she would have contacted her right away. BP so smartly yelled to the judge "I emailed her a letter last week!" The judge laughed at her, and reemed her for that. HE"S BEEN IN COUNSELING FOR 10 MONTHS!

The judge didn't even know what to do, and turned to our attorney and asked "What would you have me do?" Our attorney asked that all visitation be suspended until a psych eval is done.

The judge at first said that at least she can trust that BP's parents and her sister are okay for step-son to visit. But then, BP's father started yelling at the judge in the courtroom, and was told several times to be quiet. The judge told him if he said one more thing, he'd be held in contempt of court and arrested. THEN the judge changed her mind and said now, she can't even trust her PARENTS! She told the father that she understands what is going on in the family, and they are all dancing around the issues. BP tried to shout out several times and the judge yelled at her too, telling her she had her chance, and it is not her time to talk, then told her that she is not allowed to be alone with step-son until further notice!

So bottomline right now is this:

She agreed to continue visitation - IF BP's sister will agree to supervise at all times. She wasn't at court, but BP's attorney assured the judge she will agree - I'm not so sure...

If the sister cannot supervise, then IF step-son requests to visit his grandparents, then they can supervise BUT it must be asked for by step-son and only if he really wants to see them.

If he doesn't want to see grandparents, and the sister cannot supervise, HE DOESN"T HAVE TO GO ON THE VISIT!

Also, SHE HAS TO RELEASE ALL OF HER PSYCH AND MEDICAL RECORDS Directly to the judge. She will read over everything, and decide if a psych eval sould be done.

We are in shock. And I am so happy for DH that he feels vindicated. This is the first time anyone has listened to his concerns for her mental health. THE JUDGE BELIEVED HIM! BP has been hiding her records and diasgnosis for 14 years, and now it is all going to come out!


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hestia

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