I think this article that was renamed for Leaving a BPD Partner is not very helpful or even valid. In my opinion it doesn't address at all the role played and the damage done and why the advice that is so smoothly offered just can't work easily for most people or at least most people posting here.
I think it's almost a disservice to this forum to post an article written for "Loser Relationships" and used for NPD and BPD and any "Loser Relationships" as if there are not specific issues with each.
Can you be more specific on what you find invalid in the excerpt printed on BPDFamily?
Boy you confused me by moving the post!
I had read that same article relating to NPD, (verbatim just substituted Narcissist to Borderline).
As the article, as I can see now was credited here in 2007 as referred to in it's original title, The Loser, is somewhat helpful but not specific to dealing with a BPD persona OR from my understanding of NPD as well.
I think the article IS good advice for the 'average' relationship with a "Loser' as it seems it was originally intended. The advice for a rather 'simplistic' relationship, as compared to the extremely complex dynamics at play with a Borderline might leave the 'average' person suffering with leaving feeling to be the 'loser' in their inability to follow such 'plain vanilla' advice that really doesn't touch on any specifics in the extremely powerful dynamics that can be potentially devastating to (actually both parties) the person 'leaving'.
I think this forum has been a crucial part of me starting the journey of recovery and has benefitted me far more than expensive and time consuming therapy that set me off down the wrong road more than once.
Lastly, with the literal vast amount of accumulated experiences we have all shared, I would hope a more comprehensive (and helpful) article of this type would be on the forum and not this (in my opinion) very pedestrian, light and 'fluffy' article that does serve a purpose in it's original form for it's intended audience. A person simply trying to end a relationship with "A Loser", not someone suffering with a mental illness that is very complex and has specific challenges that most of us are and have been experiencing.
Lastly, "The Loser" was written I believe in 2003 and posted here in 2007. At the time, maybe it was more valid in the absence of better more specific information on Borderline Personality Disorder. I can obviously see positive benefits of the article. But as said, this site is so packed with so much information, so many stories and I would hope a better article that addressed more finely focused dynamics and difficulties.
Thank you for moving my post and for asking for my thoughts. I think this forum is the best run and managed I have participated in. Extremely well done and helpful!