Sometime you just gotta laugh

[Think About It....]

So my husband's divorce decree states Easter - she has them in the morning and we get them by 1:00 p.m.  We are going to 1:00 dinner with his brother and sister-in-law, so we are not getting them, at 1:00; actually we are not getting them at all.  They are almost 17 & 16, so not little children here.  Husband tells them our plans, and they must have told their momster, cause we get another snail mail saying that if he is going to change the divorce agreement, that he needs to tell her first and NOT the children.  And how she originally had plans (yeah right, she never leaves the house) and now has to CHANGE her plans to accommodate our plans (yeah right, she's never accommodated anyone in her entire life).

Just more bullcrap.

Anyway, last night I say to 17 year old daughter "so what are you guys doing for Easter."  She says mom is taking all four of us out to brunch and then we WERE going to nana and papas (momster's parents), but papa is sick and no one is saying what's wrong with him.

So really, momster had nothing planned - they don't even have reservations for brunch (typical bullcrap).

Thanks for letting me vent.  I'll tell you what really pisses me off is after a divorce decree and an annulment from Catholic church that she insisted on, she still signs her letters Mrs...  What a piece of work.

[Luckygirl]

So my husband's divorce decree states Easter - she has them in the morning and we get them by 1:00 p.m.  We are going to 1:00 dinner with his brother and sister-in-law, so we are not getting them, at 1:00; actually we are not getting them at all.  They are almost 17 & 16, so not little children here.  Husband tells them our plans, and they must have told their momster, cause we get another snail mail saying that if he is going to change the divorce agreement, that he needs to tell her first and NOT the children.  And how she originally had plans (yeah right, she never leaves the house) and now has to CHANGE her plans to accommodate our plans (yeah right, she's never accommodated anyone in her entire life).

Just more bullcrap.

Anyway, last night I say to 17 year old daughter "so what are you guys doing for Easter."  She says mom is taking all four of us out to brunch and then we WERE going to nana and papas (momster's parents), but papa is sick and no one is saying what's wrong with him.

So really, momster had nothing planned - they don't even have reservations for brunch (typical bullcrap).

Thanks for letting me vent.  I'll tell you what really pisses me off is after a divorce decree and an annulment from Catholic church that she insisted on, she still signs her letters Mrs...  What a piece of work.

[Mr. M]

Ah yes... the dreaded "I have plans" response.  On rare occasion, something has come up where I suggested altering the schedule and I get the "I have plans" reply.  She never does.  Usually after a short back-and-forth, it ultimately ends with... I'll change the schedule if you PAY for...

.  Now, if she has plans, I don't suggest/make changes. 

[Luckygirl]

Mr. M. - it just behooves me that these kids are 17 and 16 and she still insists that my husband inform her of any deviation in schedules, but when the kids have a freshman dance, sophmore dance, or anything that impedes our visitation, they simply tell us and we state, Okay, we'll pick you up later or whatever.  We never impede plans they have with school or friends b'day parties, etc.  She just needs to know what is going on in his life at all times - she's pathetic.

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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

[wornout]

  They are almost 17 & 16, so not little children here. 
...
Thanks for letting me vent.  I'll tell you what really pisses me off is after a divorce decree and an annulment from Catholic church that she insisted on, she still signs her letters Mrs...  What a piece of work.

So how does a woman with 2 children get a marriage annuled?  Honestly, if they were the product of some kind of immaculate conception, how come your husband's still got parental obligations? 

...Oh well, at least you guys have only 2 years left of this crap. 

[PamelaMc]

Don't you know that all the cool kids in school have "plans"?

[Luckygirl]

As to the annulment question, they were married 24 years and 4 children; two are in their twenties.  And believe me I'd be grateful if it would stop at 18 but his divorce decree states paying child support until the kids are 21 regardless of whether they attend college or not.  We may go back to court to get this revised sometime down the road.  Our only hope is that they both go off to college and get the heck away from her like the two oldest did.

Again as for the annulment, if you pay the church enough, you can get anything you want.  My husband basically stated he did not want to partake, as she was pressing for the annulment and he wrote that they were too immature to get married.  Bingo - end of christian marriage.  Unbelievable!  I'm sure she wrote some very nasty things about him because after all "everything was/is his fault."

[Stepmom04]

Hey Luckygirl,

You are right, sometimes you just have to chuckle, shake your head, and go vent to BPDFamily.  Our latest "I have plans" episode was really not as big of a deal as yours but still humerous. Two weeks ago my h called his bpx to tell her he had made a dr. appt. for their son on April 17.  Her immediate reply was " I am taking him out of town for Easter break!"  Easter is part of her visitation every year.  I didn't really think about it until I went to put the dr. appt. on the calendar and saw that the appt. is the week after break, yet her immediate response was that she had plans.  I just laughed.  Again, this didn't affect us in any way or disrupt the kids plans like your bp did, but their "I have plans" crap is so typical.  Hang in there.

P.S.  The annulment thing is interesting...

Sm04   

[Mr. M]

You can get an annullment for a variety of reasons AND... if you throw enough coin the church's way - you'll get it.

[Luckygirl]

Yeah, we're sure her parents paid for it, as they are devote catholics, although alcoholics too!  That's an interesting combination.  What really bugs me is she insists she is still Mrs...such denial about the whole divorce thing.  I am glad I have this place to vent because having never run into anything like this in my life, boy it sure feels good to let it all out.  My husband just lets everything roll off his back - stating he lived with it for 24 years, so nothing surprises or bothers him.

[Peace4us]

Lucky

I hear you on the frusteration issue. My uBPDxh was supposed to have the kids from Thursday evening until Monday afternoon.  He is now separated from wife #2 so he has no one to look after the kids when he has plans (I am sure he's online dating already in the first month) No problem I have no issues with keeping the kids.  He has not seen them in 3 weeks and has called them once. He changes things based on his plans yet has to act like his plans are "top secret CIA information"

Mine are only 9 and 7 yr old, but as they have more activities and friends issues, they will start to not want to be with dad every other weekend.

You got it right "bullcrap"

Peace4us

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